Bones (May 14, 8-9PM, FOX)
What the network says: Ryan O’Neal guest stars. Evil tech genius Christopher Pelant (guest star Andrew Leeds), a suspect in a previous case Brennan and Booth handled, is back in court on appeal. Knowing what he is capable of, Brennan and Booth inform the judge that he is a suspect in two murder cases. Then, Brennan and Booth are called to the scene of a new murder. After determining the victim is Brennan’s friend, who also is linked to Pelant, the Jeffersonian team works to prove he is guilty once and for all. But when law enforcement examines the team’s findings, key pieces of evidence are tied to Brennan and suspicion falls on her.
What we say: Hacker/serial killer/spine-chilling creepster Chrisopher Pelant is back, which means you have less than 12 hours to find a stress ball to squeeze during the finale. Might a much-anticipated marriage proposal help curb our impending sense of doom?
How I Met Your Mother (May 14, 8-9PM, CBS)
What the network says: On Barney’s (Neil Patrick Harris) wedding day, his wife is finally revealed, and the gang reminisces about the time they encouraged Ted to follow his heart and go after the one that got away.
What we say: Will Ted and Robin reconcile? Will Lily have her baby? Will Marshall pass out? Will it be Quinn hiding under that veil? WILL WE FINALLY FIND OUT WHO THE MOTHER IS?!
Gossip Girl (May 14, 8-9PM, The CW)
What the network says: When Gossip Girl goes after Blair as she’s never done before, Serena admits she may have unintentionally played an important role in Blair’s latest nightmare. Meanwhile, Nate invites Lola (guest star Ella Rae Peck) to move in with him, and Lily must make a big decision about the future of her marriage. Finally, by episode’s end, Blair will make a choice between the two men in her life…will it be Chuck or will it be Dan?
What we say: After Serena burned many a friend as Gossip Girl, we don’t really feel bad if the real GG decides to take her down. Could Serena’s fall help Blair decide if she really wants to go to Rome with Dan? After all, Chuck — er, we mean Serena — might need her.
Two and a Half Men (May 14, 9-9:30PM, CBS)
What the network says: Jake (Angus T. Jones) graduates from school and makes a huge decision about what to do with his life.
What we say: Jake is graduating high school?! Wasn’t it just yesterday he was worrying about bikes and guinea pigs? They just…sniff…grow up so fast…
Hart of Dixie (May 14, 9-10PM, The CW)
What the network says: With a storm about to hit Bluebell, George (Scott Porter) and Lemon (Jaime King) prepare for their wedding day. Meanwhile, taking shelter, Zoe (Rachel Bilson) finds herself stranded in a barn with Wade (Wilson Bethel).
What we say: In April, Dixie‘s Tim Matheson said the finale has ”swans, goats, pelicans, near-hurricane winds, rain, dream sequences, and wedding preparations.” Add on a heated, stormy barn scene between Wade and Zoe, and you just might be handing us a sensory overload.
Mike & Molly (May 14, 9:30-10PM, CBS)
What the network says: Will Mike (Billy Gardell) and Molly (Melissa McCarthy) finally make it down the aisle?
What we say: There’s a wedding, this we know, but will the pair actually leave the altar as husband and wife?
Hawaii Five-0 (May 14, 9-10PM, CBS)
What the network says: Five-0 goes on a manhunt when one of their own is killed in the line of duty.
What we say: ”Our show is known for big stunts and dramatic turns and the finale is, kind of, that…on steroids,” were the words Daniel Dae Kim used as he described the closer for the second season. We’re just hoping that doesn’t include Kim as the recipient of that fatal shot.
Smash (May 14, 10-11PM, NBC)
What the network says: The big night is finally here. Tom (Christian Borle) and Julia (Debra Messing) race against time to save the show, while Derek (Jack Davenport) makes a decision that will change the lives of Karen (Katharine McPhee) and Ivy (Megan Hilty) forever. Ellis (Jaime Cepero) reveals his true colors. But when he finally makes his move to save Bombshell, will it be for or against Eileen (Anjelica Huston)? In the midst of it all, another bombshell goes off — this one is in Karen and Dev’s (Raza Jaffrey) relationship.
What we say: Please let the reworked ending not involve a suicide, let us finally find out who will play Marilyn, and for the sweet love of God, please banish weasely Ellis from the Smash stage for good.
90210 (May 15, 8-9PM, The CW)
What the network says: Naomi shocks everyone when she announces she won’t be able to oversee Max’s (guest star Josh Zuckerman) wedding because she has accepted a job in New York and will be leaving immediately. Teddy (guest star Trevor Donovan) comes back to town and Dixon rushes back from touring to give his relationship with Adrianna another try, then fails to show up at their meeting spot. Meanwhile, Silver feels like she has to choose between Navid and Liam and makes a life-changing decision.
What we say: Silver is up to her eyeballs in weird baby/boy drama, Dixon messes up plans with Adrianna, but in the midst of all that, we really just wish the supreme Annalynne McCord would leave Beverly Hills (and now New York) for greener prime-time pastures.
Cougar Town (May 15, 8-9PM, ABC)
What the network says: Pt 1 — Grayson moves in with Jules after the hurricane damages his house, but the sudden togetherness makes them wonder if they’re going to make the same mistakes in their upcoming marriage that they made in their past relationships. Meanwhile, Ellie and Laurie bicker about which of them is the sexiest, dragging Travis into the argument, and Jules and Bobby dare each other to a ”white shirt challenge” — to see who can wear the same white shirt longer without spilling something on it.
Pt 2 — When Jules realizes that the cul-de-sac crew didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving together, she decides to celebrate the holiday, even though it’s spring. But the family spirit is shattered, in more ways than one, when Little Stan gets his hands on Big Carl and Jules questions Ellie’s parenting skills. Meanwhile, Travis struggles to write Jules’ wedding vows and asks Bobby and Laurie for help, and Grayson helps a nervous Andy practice for the annual pizza toss for candidates running for mayor.
What we say: Sit, back, relax, and enjoy the big wine-filled wedding, now that we know our penny-can-playing gang will be safe and sound at TBS.
NCIS (May 15, 8-9PM, CBS)
What the network says: Terrorism shakes the foundations of the Navy and NCIS; Gibbs (Mark Harmon) and the team face surprises that will devastate them.
What we say: A Florida wedding and a terrorist plot all in the same hour is probably the only way the show could best last year’s killer cliffhanger.
NCIS: Los Angeles (May 15, 9-11PM, CBS)
What the network says: The L.A. team is drawn into a deadly mind game against a master criminal motivated by revenge.
What we say: Our explosive, exclusive photo of the two-hour finale kind of says it all, except we still don’t know the identities of those poor blasted souls! Kensi, Deeks, and Sam go in…but which of them, if any, come out?
Fashion Star (May 15, 10-11PM, NBC)
What the network says: The remaining three contestants are tasked with creating separate showcases consisting of three garments for each of the retailers. The designer that can meet the needs of Macy’s, H&M and Saks Fifth Avenue will be named America’s first ”Fashion Star” and receive a capsule collection in each of the stores. The winning designs will be available online immediately and in stores the following day.
What we say: Nzimiro and Ronnie are talented, no doubt, but we kind of have a soft spot for edgy former fourth-grade teacher Kara. Whether or not the buyers feel the same is yet to be determined. Either way, we hope we can pick up her designs in H&M on Fifth Avenue this weekend.
Private Practice (May 15, 10-11PM, ABC)
What the network says: When Amelia goes into labor — and faces the hardest decision of her life — even the Seaside doctors she had pushed away come to her aid. Meanwhile, after Pete finds himself in life-changing trouble, he and Violet realize what they mean to one another, and Addison is faced with a choice.
What we say: Two things producer Shonda Rhimes told us about the finale: Baby Henry won’t be harmed…and there’s a lot of pain. So the adorable tot is safe, but which of Practice‘s leading ladies will suffer?
Suburgatory (May 16, 8:30-9PM, ABC)
What the network says: Residents of Chatswin go all out in celebration of their moms, leaving a noticeable void for Tessa, while Dalia chooses to go to Israel without Dallas. Meanwhile George and Eden attend the Lerners’ baby shower, and Eden reacts to the endangered animal theme; Fred surprises Sheila with a special performance by her favorite solo artist, and Lisa makes a startling discovery.
What we say: Will Tessa’s mom finally make an appearance, just in time for Mother’s Day? Or will Tessa have to spend another motherless summer in the suburbs?
Criminal Minds (May 16, 9-11PM, CBS)
What the network says: When a federal bank is under attack, the BAU is called to negotiate a hostage situation. As events unfold in real time, tensions rise as one of the team becomes a hostage. Also, Emily Prentiss (Paget Brewster) says goodbye.
What we say: Last season, Emily Prentiss left, this season she came back, and now, on the season finale, she exits for good. But last week, star Joe Mantenga told us that he would be ”surprised if this was the last we saw of Emily.” Jeez, Criminal Minds, what are you trying to do to us?!