Barely-dressed girls and overly-bicepped dudes sleep all day, soak up too much sun, and get into regular screaming matches. It’s like a fraternity party mixed with Lord of the Flies, which, when you think about it, was also kind of like a fraternity party.
A summer-hit series about stupid people falling off of big red balls, Wipeout is marginally less of a guilty pleasure thanks to the running commentary by snark-kingpin John Henson. Also, it’s funny when the people fall off the big red balls.
Sex, violence, and sexy violence: Need we say more?
The Jersey Shore
Barely-dressed girls and overly-bicepped dudes sleep, plot against each other, and get into regular screaming matches. It’s like a fraternity party mixed with… well, it’s a fraternity party!
Conan the Barbarian on Blu-ray/Conan the Barbarian in theaters
Crossing your fingers that the new Jason Momoa-starring Conan will be good? We are too. But just in case, we’re getting the Blu-Ray edition of the original 1982 film, starring a barely understandable Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes on DVD/Rise of the Planet of the Apes in theaters
Surprised by all the ”it’s not terrible!” buzz coming off this summer’s Ape preboot? Consider checking out its spiritual forbear — the 1972 fourquel that imagined a semi-dystopian 1991 in which apes have become a slave-labor force. It’s a vintage sci-fi cheesefest, rescued by that dynamite ape makeup and a surprisingly vivid Civil Rights-era subtext.
Shark Week (Discovery Channel)
''Party Rock Anthem,'' LMFAO
If you filtered all the grime from the floor of the Big Brother house, mixed it with some Ron-Ron juice from Jersey Shore, fed that refuse to a camel, and then let Arnold Schwarzenegger punch that camel, the resulting sonic boom would be roughly equivalent to this decadent club anthem.
''Last Friday Night,'' Katy Perry
No, ”dipping in the dark” doesn’t rhyme with ”ménage a trois.” No, we don’t really care, either.
Writing Movies for Fun and Profit, by the Reno 911! guys
Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant are the indisputable comedy geniuses behind Reno 911! They’re also the extremely disputable geniuses who wrote Taxi, The Pacifier, Night at the Museum 1 and 2, and Herbie Fully Loaded. In this raucous how-to, they gleefully describe how to sell out in style. Hilarious, and also a seemingly eerily accurate portrayal of why so many Hollywood movies tend to be terrible.