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  3. Summer Movies: Grading 2014's Posters

Summer Movies: Grading 2014's Posters

''X-Men'' to ''Sex Tape,'' ''Godzilla'' to ''Hercules'': Darren Franich eyes the art
Darren Franich
By Darren Franich Updated April 22, 2014 at 05:00 PM EDT
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Neighbors

A straightforward concept. Two very different demographics: Rogen as aging-stoner-thirtysomething, Efron-as-aging-teen-hottie. Also, incongruous babies are always funny. Simple and effective. B+

A straightforward concept. Two very different demographics: Rogen as aging-stoner-thirtysomething, Efron-as-aging-teen-hottie. Also, incongruous babies are always funny. Simple and effective. B+

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Amazing Spider-Man 2

So you're making the fifth or sixth Spider-Man movie in 12 years. Do you try to convince people that they're about to see something new?…

So you're making the fifth or sixth Spider-Man movie in 12 years. Do you try to convince people that they're about to see something new? Or do you show Spider-Man doing his Spider-Man thing, the way Spider-Man always does. ''But this time he's upside-down!'' Not good enough. The blah tagline is the rotten cherry on top. D+

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X-Men: Days of Future Past

POSTER X MEN FUTURE PAST

Fox launched their campaign for the X-Men prequel-sequel with those groovy past/future overlays of Magneto and Professor X. But their latest poster is more straightforward, a bargain Drew Struzan knockoff that stresses one thing: There are lots of X-Men in this X-Men movie. Look, Colossus! C+

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Maleficent

The top half of this poster is just perfect, with Jolie cast in pale horror-movie monochrome with a few Sin City -esque splashes of color.…

The top half of this poster is just perfect, with Jolie cast in pale horror-movie monochrome with a few Sin City-esque splashes of color. Then there's the bottom half of the poster, which is Alice the Slaying Huntsman in Wonderland. B

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A Million Ways to Die in the West

Although it falls victim to some bad photoshopping (do actors even pose for posters in the same continent anymore?) credit Seth MacFarlane with an eye-grabbingly…

Although it falls victim to some bad photoshopping (do actors even pose for posters in the same continent anymore?) credit Seth MacFarlane with an eye-grabbingly non sequitur image (yay, sheep!) Also, Liam Neeson gives every poster a grade bump. B

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Edge of Tomorrow

James Cameron called, he wants his exoskeletons back. Cool dirt, though. No posters have prettier dirt than this poster. C+

James Cameron called, he wants his exoskeletons back. Cool dirt, though. No posters have prettier dirt than this poster. C+

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The Fault in Our Stars

A familiar romantic image, given a slight twist with huge ramifications. The poster and its punny tagline were a bit controversial . Just means they're…

A familiar romantic image, given a slight twist with huge ramifications. The poster and its punny tagline were a bit controversial. Just means they're doing their job right. A

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22 Jump Street

You loved the original; now here's the sequel! Another brute-force comedy pitch, but Tatum and Hill are doing actual funny faces, and that tagline is…

You loved the original; now here's the sequel! Another brute-force comedy pitch, but Tatum and Hill are doing actual funny faces, and that tagline is the rare cringey pun that's actually funny. B+

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How To Train Your Dragon 2

The Sequel-As-Character-Roundup. Looks pretty, nice to see the lead character slightly-more-grown-up. Demerit: Everyone besides the girl is doing some variation on the Dreamworks Face. B

The Sequel-As-Character-Roundup. Looks pretty, nice to see the lead character slightly-more-grown-up. Demerit: Everyone besides the girl is doing some variation on the Dreamworks Face. B

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The Signal

How do you sell a weird little science-fiction movie? With weird minimalist sci-fi imagery of course! Attention-grabbing and lo-fi, albeit maybe a bit too opaque…

How do you sell a weird little science-fiction movie? With weird minimalist sci-fi imagery of course! Attention-grabbing and lo-fi, albeit maybe a bit too opaque about anything that actually happens in the movie. B+

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Transformers: Age of Extinction

So you're making the fourth Transformers movie in seven years. Do you offer people more of the same? Or do you offer up an extremely…

So you're making the fourth Transformers movie in seven years. Do you offer people more of the same? Or do you offer up an extremely weird, disturbingly incongruous image of a lone machine marching down a lonely road, while impossible and unfathomably mega-structures lurk in the background? Fair enough, Trans4mers, fair enough. A

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Think Like a Man Too

The Sequel-As-''But This Time They're In Vegas!'' We could ponder the fact that the men's faces all look stapled onto unmatching bodies. But fun is…

The Sequel-As-''But This Time They're In Vegas!'' We could ponder the fact that the men's faces all look stapled onto unmatching bodies. But fun is what's promised, and fun is achieved. B

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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Devastating. I'm already crying. Cute Ape Baby is already a frontunner for Rookie of the Year, Summer 2014 Edition. A

Devastating. I'm already crying. Cute Ape Baby is already a frontunner for Rookie of the Year, Summer 2014 Edition. A

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Boyhood

There's such a thing as going too minimal, and this iconic image buries the lede about the central fascination of Richard Linklater's decade-in-the-making coming-of-age story.…

There's such a thing as going too minimal, and this iconic image buries the lede about the central fascination of Richard Linklater's decade-in-the-making coming-of-age story. B-

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Godzilla

If Godzilla: The Movie is half as good as Godzilla: The Marketing Campaign , it'll be the movie of the summer. A

If Godzilla: The Movie is half as good as Godzilla: The Marketing Campaign, it'll be the movie of the summer. A

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Jupiter Ascending

Nobody expects a simple pitch from the Wachowskis. So if the two character posters for Jupiter Ascending make it look like an unfinished Roger Zelazny…

Nobody expects a simple pitch from the Wachowskis. So if the two character posters for Jupiter Ascending make it look like an unfinished Roger Zelazny short story remade into an R-rated Golden Compass reboot, then we have to assume that was their intention. It ain't boring. B+

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The Purge: Anarchy

The dorm-room poster of the summer, whether you mean it ironically or sincerely. A

The dorm-room poster of the summer, whether you mean it ironically or sincerely. A

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Blended

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. F

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. F

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Wish I Was Here

2004 called, it wants its whimsy back. You can keep Kate Hudson. C

2004 called, it wants its whimsy back. You can keep Kate Hudson. C

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Hercules

Crucially unclear how this isn't just The Scorpion King again. But The Rock gives good warface. C

Crucially unclear how this isn't just The Scorpion King again. But The Rock gives good warface. C

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Sex Tape

Comedy Posters of 2014: Huge Concept Title, Stars Making Wacky Faces. Diaz and Segel's desperation to cover up the title is a nice touch, though.…

Comedy Posters of 2014: Huge Concept Title, Stars Making Wacky Faces. Diaz and Segel's desperation to cover up the title is a nice touch, though. And gotta love how they're reclaiming Black-and-Red from action movies. B-

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Guardians of the Galaxy

How do you sell a decades-old property that few mainstream moviegoers have ever heard of, starring a motley crew of sitcom actors and trees? If…

How do you sell a decades-old property that few mainstream moviegoers have ever heard of, starring a motley crew of sitcom actors and trees? If you're Marvel, you turn Guardians' intrinsic weirdness into part of the joke: The billion-dollar names of their Avengers characters lead straight into the title, with a jokey ''You're Welcome'' tagline. Sure looks, pretty, too, although you could argue that they soft-pedal the weirdness a bit. Take away the raccoon and the neon skin colors, and this could be an Expendables poster. A-

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Oh, Donatello. Always the bow staff, never a weapon that anyone actually respects. Also, while I always support the decision to go minimalist in principle,…

Oh, Donatello. Always the bow staff, never a weapon that anyone actually respects. Also, while I always support the decision to go minimalist in principle, a close-up of a three-fingered green turtle hand is not particularly catchy/vaguely terrifying. C-

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The Rover

Looks cool. Meh tagline. ''But can this face still sell movie tickets?'' is the question lingering over this poster. C

Looks cool. Meh tagline. ''But can this face still sell movie tickets?'' is the question lingering over this poster. C

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The Expendables 3

The most important image of the year, question mark? Harrison Ford. Smiling, kind of. Wearing what is supposed to be a flight suit but what,…

The most important image of the year, question mark? Harrison Ford. Smiling, kind of. Wearing what is supposed to be a flight suit but what, in the context of no context, looks like a very comfortable onesie. Crossed-arms, leg-up, like he just wrote a self-help guidebook to actualizing your inner reality. The lights make it all dangerously meta. BEYOND OUR MEAGER HUMAN RANGE OF MEASUREABLE QUALITY

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    Everything in This Slideshow

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    1 of 25 Neighbors
    2 of 25 Amazing Spider-Man 2
    3 of 25 X-Men: Days of Future Past
    4 of 25 Maleficent
    5 of 25 A Million Ways to Die in the West
    6 of 25 Edge of Tomorrow
    7 of 25 The Fault in Our Stars
    8 of 25 22 Jump Street
    9 of 25 How To Train Your Dragon 2
    10 of 25 The Signal
    11 of 25 Transformers: Age of Extinction
    12 of 25 Think Like a Man Too
    13 of 25 Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
    14 of 25 Boyhood
    15 of 25 Godzilla
    16 of 25 Jupiter Ascending
    17 of 25 The Purge: Anarchy
    18 of 25 Blended
    19 of 25 Wish I Was Here
    20 of 25 Hercules
    21 of 25 Sex Tape
    22 of 25 Guardians of the Galaxy
    23 of 25 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
    24 of 25 The Rover
    25 of 25 The Expendables 3

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