Gilmore Girls: Ranking the Townies

With Netflix’s Gilmore Girls revival in the works, we’ve rounded up — and ranked — the secondary, and even tertiary, townies of Stars Hollow. You won’t see any main characters on this list, but rather the smaller folks who make Stars Hollow the glorious small town we still adore.

Lindsay shows up seemingly out of nowhere in season 3 as Dean’s new girlfriend. And quite frankly, she’s way too cheery from day one. The moment she and Dean get married, she decides to spend every waking second trying to become the perfect housewife — in other words, she’s the opposite of a Gilmore girl. Did she deserve to be cheated on? Of course not. But as far as townies go, sorry, Lindsay: We’re not sure where you came from, but with your lack of quirk (and just general personality), you do not belong in Stars Hollow. — Samantha Highfill

One of the more prominent “extras” in town, Andrew always seems to be in the crowd during major Stars Hollow events. We learn that he owns the book store later in the show, but still never get any real depth. He seems like a nice enough guy, but let’s be honest, he’s pretty much just townie wallpaper. — Dylan Kickham

What really is there to say about Bootsy? He owns the town newsstand and shows up in a handful of episodes. This list is probably the most thought anyone’s ever given the guy. Sorry, Bootsy. — Dylan Kickham

The sudden presence of Kyon in Gilmore Girls’ fourth season was the perfect opportunity for Lane to move on from her issues with her mother and to show herself just how far she’d come as an independent adult. While she played an important role in Lane’s maturation, Kyon loses major points for not appreciating the gift that is Luke’s Diner fries. — Madeline Boardman

We don’t know much about Mrs. Cassini, other than that she had a generally positive outlook on life, she really loved Brussels sprouts, and she interacted most with whomever was Town Selectman. — Samantha Highfill

While Gilmore Girls was not as heavy on the religion as some of its WB counterparts, the show did find some joy in introducing comedy duo Reverend Archie Skinner and Rabbi David Barans. Skinner’s occasionally sardonic sense of humor wouldn’t be much without his Abbott and Costello counterpart, but as one of the few people in town who knows how to consistently knock Taylor Doose down a peg, he deserves Stars Hollow’s praise. — Jonathon Dornbush

The follow-up troubadour may have been No. 2 in playing for pennies, but he was No. 1 when it came to growing beautiful cukes and getting on Taylor’s nerves. After hanging up his music career so that the OG troubadour could run the town, he found new interest in selling produce, going so far as to open up a farmer’s market across from Doose’s. A townie of many talents, the unnamed renaissance man brought gorgeous music and gorgeous veggies to Stars Hollow. — Madeline Boardman

Sadly, we didn’t get to see much of Rabbi Barans, but from what we did know of him, he was besties with Reverend Skinner, and together, they had a hilarious religion joke for just about any and every situation. — Samantha Highfill

When we first meet him, the lovably dopey Kyle is hosting the infamous house party at which Dean and Jess brawl and he gets in some fun one-liners about keeping the place clean. Later on, he joins the Navy and comes back to Stars Hollow with a hook for a hand, which he claims has helped him out with the ladies. He’s usually a fun side character, and having Squints from The Sandlot is pretty cool, but overall, he’s hardly essential. — Dylan Kickham

The temperamental Independence Inn harpist Drella seemed like she was going to be a series regular when the show started, but she didn’t last longer than the first season. Alex Borstein, who was actually the original choice to play Sookie, had a lot of fun with the role, but there’s no doubt that her subsequent turn as the Old Hollywood-obsessed stylist Miss Celine was Borstein’s standout part on the series. — Dylan Kickham

Pete the Pizza Guy’s presence in Gilmore Girls is brief but essential. The owner of the local pizza shop, Pete has his moment in the sun in season 3’s “Happy Birthday, Baby.” While his delivery boys usually bring the pizzas to Lorelai and Rory, Pete gets personally involved for a big surprise for Lorelai’s birthday. As he and Rory set out to make the biggest pizza ever, Pete’s culinary skills and tough love set him apart in the town. — Madeline Boardman

Leave it to the Town Loner to bring the people together. In Gilmore Girls’ third season, Stars Hollow played host to some serious political discourse when the unnamed loner decided to stage a protest. Getting enough support from Reverend Skinner and Rabbi Barans, the Town Loner unveiled his protest at their shared place of worship, and while it didn’t go as planned, he left with a legacy as locals will always know to fear noodle scooz and its relationship with Jell-O, and pay mind to man’s ability to communicate. — Madeline Boardman

Oh, Fran. She was the sweetest baker in the world. Her only flaws? Her employees didn’t always understand Lorelai’s coffee orders and then there was that time that she didn’t want to sell the Dragonfly to Sookie and Lorelai. But other than that, Fran had a cake for every occasion (and we hear her rum balls were fantastic). — Samantha Highfill

Imagine the kid in your high school who did everything—pep rallies, morning announcements, themed outfits for obscure holidays—and apply that same spasmodically enthusiastic logic to a single adult male living alone in his late 40s. Market owner Taylor Doose lays claim to Stars Hollow’s rich history and milks it in town meetings, annual events, and generically troublesome arguments with Luke on the regular. He’ll scold you for lacking spirit, scold you having too much spirit, and find a way to inject his own self-important agenda into every item on the Stars Hollow social docket. And, for the record, it’s absolutely ridiculous that his name doesn’t rhyme with ‘moose.’ —Marc Snetiker

The bane of Luke Danes’ existence, Crazy Carrie lived up to her name in the best way. A former high school classmate of Luke’s, she prided herself on an under-the-bleachers makeout with the diner owner that may or may not have happened. Despite Luke’s refusal to reignite the flame, Carrie still gets her kicks, finding other men to get crazy with at various town functions. — Madeline Boardman

Viewers never actually met Old Man Old Man Twickham, but you have to like a guy whose almost-death brings the town together on a regular basis. And when Old Man Twickham finally did die, he gave us the greatest gift of all: Stars Hollow’s own short-lived history museum (complete with the world’s greatest diorama). — Samantha Highfill

If Kirk is Mr. Stars Hollow — which he is, by the way — then LuLu is Mrs. Stars Hollow. Yes, we know they’re not married — yet — but if she loves Kirk despite his night terrors and 5,000 other quirks, then we love her back. — Samantha Highfill

Gilmore Girls knew when to capitalize on a good thing, and the show certainly understood what to do when sparks started to fly between Sookie and Jackson. One of the most frequently appearing denizens of Stars Hollow, Jackson grew from an amusing thorn in Sookie’s side (as she meticulously inspected his produce shipments) to the love of her life and, in the process, one of the most lovable townsfolk of Stars Hollow. — Jonathon Dornbush

Let no other competing troubadours fool you — Grant is the one, true wandering musician of Stars Hollow (as a season 1 episode town meeting made it official). The Troubadour is an essential part of Stars Hollow, despite how sporadic his appearances may be, imbuing the series’ lovely acoustic score into the actual world of Lorelai, Rory, and the rest of the town. And a Stars Hollow without its music would be a much emptier place. — Jonathon Dornbush

Often silent but always sweet, Babette’s husband Morey offered the perfect complement to the much more excitable neighbor of the Gilmores. Morey’s soulful presence added some music to not only every party on the block but in all of Stars Hollow. He may not have been the most frequently present citizen of Stars Hollow, but with a smile on his face and a song in his heart (and often on the piano), Morey most certainly left his mark. —Jonathon Dornbush

Ummm, it’s freaking Carole King. — Samantha Highfill

On any given day, it’s hard to tell if Tom loves or hates his life. But his chill attitude toward absolutely everyone and everything was the best thing about him. Combine that with his kind heart — not only did he let T.J. pretend to be the contractor on Lorelai’s house, but he gave Lorelai an extension when she didn’t have enough money for the Dragonfly — and Tom is a keeper. — Samantha Highfill

You want a car consultation, honest opinions, or pigtail-styling tips? You go to Gypsy. The tell-it-like-it-is mechanic in Stars Hollow not only has the knowledge to work miracles on the cars that come into her shop, but also has the self-confidence to stand up to Richard, and the raw charm to win over Emily. — Madeline Boardman

If there’s one thing you can say about Mrs. Kim, it’s that she’s 100 percent unapologetic. Is her character a bit extreme? Absolutely, but that’s what makes her one of the most unforgettable townies in all of Stars Hollow. Her stern outlook on life makes for some of the show’s funniest moments, and her love for her daughter makes for some of the show’s most endearing scenes. Love or hate Mrs. Kim, there’s no dance marathon without her egg-less egg salad, and there’s no Stars Hollow without her (or her antiques). — Samantha Highfill

Babette didn’t get nearly enough shine in her time on Gilmore Girls. The raspy-voiced cat lady was the perfect next-door neighbor: always there to fill you in on the latest gossip with a cup of hot chocolate, enthusiastic about holidays, and without such weird quirks and demands as the short-lived Dwight with his needy house plants. — Madeline Boardman

She made an entire town watch a one-woman show about her life, she pretty much only speaks in wildly inappropriate sexual innuendos, and she’s the only person in Stars Hollow who can keep Taylor in his place. What is there not to love about Miss Patty!? In a show largely propelled by drama, Miss Patty never fails to bring the fun. — Dylan Kickham

If Stars Hollow were to be renamed (for some odd reason), it would no doubt become Kirk’s Hollow (sorry, Taylor). Kirk is the ultimate townie and not just because he shows up — and holds jobs — literally everywhere. Kirk has his routines, and they involve eating at Luke’s every single day, going to work all around town, and constantly participating in whatever event is in town at the time. Let’s face it: If Kirk moved away, who would sit in a glass box above the town? Who would run the Black, White, and Read movie theater? Who would perform various interpretive dances? And would the town go bankrupt? Kirk is Stars Hollow born and raised. Come to think of it: Who are his parents? And are they named Stars and Hollow? — Samantha Highfill