9. Charles Laughton, 'The Private Life of Henry VIII' (1933)
Laughton’s Henry lacks the charm one might think a guy would need to woo six women into marriage. His Oscar win could be attributed to that grotesque, unforgettable chicken-eating scene — but after watching him tear and crush his dinner while casually tossing bits of it over his shoulder, it’s hard to picture why this King appealed to all of the ladies in the kingdom. (Putting aside from his power and vast wealth, obviously.)
8. Henry VIII, 'Tale of Tudors' (from 'Hysteria')
This three-minute clip didn’t sugarcoat just how shady the King was when it came to the women in his life, demonstrating how quickly Henry went through wives. And the song’s depiction of the King as a fussy, overweight ruler holds true to what history has taught us. The way he treated the women in his life, particularly Anne of Cleves (who had a face that could stop a clock, apparently), would put this Henry VIII at the bottom of our list…if it weren’t for The Private Life of Henry VIII.
7. Richard Burton, 'Anne of the Thousand Days' (1969)
Burton’s King Henry VIII is pretty head-over-heels for Anne Boleyn (Genevieve Bujold) in this version of the King’s life, and her thirst for power is almost as annoying as his thirst for her. He definitely doesn’t come off calm, cool, and collected as he pleads with her to be with him — only after he discards poor Catherine of Aragon (Irene Papas), of course. His hotness quotient drops with every look of desperation, even taking into account those precious puppy-dog eyes.
6. Sidney James, 'Carry on Henry VIII' (1971)
James’ King Henry VIII is the ultimate playboy in this hilarious reimagining of the king’s life. He’s raunchy and demanding, and his sexual misadventures are definitely amusing. Of course, with all of the fun comes the reality that he just might have you beheaded when he’s done with you — so, you know, there’s that.
5. Robert Shaw, 'A Man for All Seasons' (1966)
A Man for All Seasons shines a light on a character other than King Henry VIII; the film centers on Sir Thomas More (Paul Scofield), who disagreed with the King’s decision to go against the Roman Catholic Church in favor of a divorce. As the king, Shaw is youthful and energetic — and that full beard does wonders for him.
4. James Robertson Justice, 'The Sword and the Rose' (1953)
Another depiction of King Henry VIII where he’s not the main focus of the film. Here, it’s his sister, Mary Tudor (Glynis Johns), who takes the spotlight. The king wants the best for her, and tries to secure a beneficial marriage (and one that suits him as well, obviously). Justice depicts the playful, caring side of the King many other films haven’t shown. While he might not be a traditional babe, he’s got a sweet spot for his family — which is adorable all the same.
3. Jonathan Rhys Meyers, 'The Tudors' (2007-2010)
Throughout the four seasons of The Tudors, King Henry VIII went through all of his wives — and he aged gracefully along the way. But while Meyers is undeniably sexy, he’s always getting angry. His nasty temper, paired with the occasional bad attitude, makes him someone you might not want to spend too much time with…unless his shirt is off. RIP Anne Boleyn (Natalie Dormer) and Catherine Howard (Tamzin Merchant).
2. Damian Lewis, 'Wolf Hall' (2015)
Lewis is just barely edged out of the No. 1 spot on the Henry-hotness scale. He depicts King Henry VIII as a stern, strong leader who reminds everyone around him how powerful he really is. While we haven’t seen too much of this King yet, he’s the type of power player anyone would feel lucky to be married to. (And that perfect jawline doesn’t hurt either.)
1. Eric Bana, 'The Other Boleyn Girl' (2008)
Ahh, Bana — the ultimate King Henry VIII, the crown jewel of the Tudor family. He falls in love with two sisters, and they both fall equally in love with him. He’s handsome and kind, seemingly eager to open his heart to Anne Boleyn (Natalie Portman) — who has ambitions high above her sister’s (Scarlett Johansson). The King is heartbroken over Anne’s betrayal. But even after he has her beheaded, it’s obvious why women across the kingdom would be ready to take her place as his wife.