'Idol': 20 Beatles Songs for...Who?

The self-proclaimed oddball with his head in a cloud of curls could undoubtedly pull off a song about a wise soul who knows better. He never listens to those high school bullies. He knows that they're the fools. They don't like him....

NOTE: Fox's promos for Wednesday's Las Vegas round indicate that the contestants will perform in pairs or groups — but here are some sacred Beatles tunes I would have picked for 20 of the remaining hopefuls to (hopefully not) massacre.

She's got one, issued by Nigel Lythgoe himself. My baby don't care if you think he's playing favorites.

He needs it. And he can always just improvise the lyrics when he suddenly ''forgets'' them. When I was younger, not much younger than today / I never needed to learn more than one song, no, no way....

I'm sure one of the 700 instruments he plays could make some pretty sweet animal sounds, and if there's one thing American Idol loves, it's social satire!

If any contestant can do justice to one of the Beatles' most bizarre tunes (and my No. 1 go-to karaoke choice), it's Lusk, who enjoys mangling words and switching voices entirely. Only a loon could pull this off. Ho ho ho, hee hee hee HA HA HA!

I'm not saying ''emotional time bomb Ashley Sullivan'' is a serial killer; I'm just saying this would be fun. Doo-doo, doo-doo-doo....

The 16-year-old originally auditioned with ''Yesterday,'' so he shouldn't be afraid to take on the eerie, vocal-heavy ''Because'' with some backup singers and his trusty piano.

I'd like to hear a nice 'n' throaty political ditty from the girl who's working for no one but Obama.

Putting a country spin on the Beatles' best-selling single would be easy enough; plus, all the women in the theater would pass out from a wish fulfillment overdose. What could be better?

There's a hole in James' bucket, and if he patches it up, he can afford to provide water and diapers for his son. The Lambert-esque wailer would have a ball improvising on the ''Hey, hey! Heyyyyy'' portion of the Sgt. Pepper's classic. Careful, though, James. In Idol, it really does matter — when you're wrong, you're sometimes just wrong.

Since we didn't see Ashton (who may or may not have worked at 15 clubs a day) in the audition episodes, it's like she just suddenly showed up (in our...bathrooms?). Wednesday's on the phone to Thursday, whispering ''She's in.'' Oh, yeah.

The boy with kaleidoscope eyes would power through this trippy dreamscape with way too much gusto. It'd be a total disaster, but great TV. What do we care? He's the season 10 bully!

The 15-year-old cherub could nudge the key up a few notches — and sing directly to Clint Jun Gamboa, of course.

Can you imagine? This guy is so wacky!!!

Watching her attempt to hit the low notes might be so bad, it'd drive us mad — but she asked for it with her exceedingly guttural performance of ''God Bless the Child'' during Hollywood Week's solo day.

The British-born teen probably misses fish and finger pies, men in macs, and the Queen, so this would be a good chance for her to reclaim her heritage. Yep, I'm reaching here!

She already dresses like their long-lost, possibly homeless member.

According to Fox's promo, Casey Abrams and Chris Medina sing this Wednesday night, but the hard-labor theme would not be lost on the modelesque Nigerian who works long hours doing grounds cleanup.

''While My Guitar Gently Weeps'' and ''Julia'' are too obvious, while ''Cry Baby Cry'' is too directive to viewers. Best to go with ''Here, There and Everywhere,'' a sweet love song with the potential to seriously wreck all of us forever, should we happen to pay attention to how the lyrics take on new meaning for a man who acts as caregiver to his brain-damaged fiancée, Juliana. Read 'em and weep. (I know, I know, I'm as bad as the producers.)

Self-explanatory. More screen time for this dreamboat dreamy yellow submarine, please.