Guilty Pleasures for Summer 2013

It's just impossible to ignore this insipid klan. (Sundays at 9 p.m. on E!) —Kristen Baldwin

Anyone who loves or loves to hate Gwyneth Paltrow has gotta subscribe to goop, a must-read peek into her fabulous, frivolous life.

How happy are we when these insurance ads — featuring a pair of plucky dudes on guitar and mandolin — come on? Happier than Dikembe Mutombo blocking a shot. —Kate Stroup

The relationships may not last, but the reality staple always comes up roses. (Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC) —Mandi Bierly

''On Saturdays and Sundays [my friends and I] just day-drink. My preference is tequila, pineapple juice, and a little bit of lime. We go all day long.''

If you've been inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey, try Opal Carew's His to Command or Reflected in You by Sylvia Day. Both have more sex than plot — but isn't that the point? (Out now) —Stephan Lee and Tina Jordan

Nothing is remotely hip about the show. But who can resist the childlike delight brought on by gooey projectiles and splattered paint? (Blueman.com) —Thom Geier

Riley Parks (played by walking guilty pleasure Jennifer Love Hewitt) juggles her under-the-table massage parlor with her feelings for her recently-returned-from-prison husband, her ongoing crush on her brother-in-law, and the guilt of having slept with a stranger for money...all while wearing next to nothing. (Sundays at 10 p.m. on Lifetime) —Samantha Highfill

New Kids on the Block team up with 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men to risk life, limb, and eardrum. (thepackage-tour.com) —Lanford Beard

From the Millionaire Matchmaker to Rachel Zoe to the many Housewives, Andy Cohen & Co. will keep you watching — by any means necessary. (Bravotv.com for listings) —Nuzhat Naoreen

There's nothing more indulgent than this trip down late-'90s/early-'00s memory lane. The videos are gaudy, stupid fun. (On DVD June 4) —Tanner Stransky

This drama is bloody, sexy, and quippy. It also features a hot guy who is, you know, a wolf. (Mondays at 10 p.m. on MTV) —Adam Carlson

Think Carey's life is all champagne and limos? Okay, you're right. Yet Mimi has a pretty good sense of humor about it, judging by her charmingly goofy video posts. —Adam Markovitz

Move over, Miss America. Flanked by overzealous parents, these kids go for gold in garish dresses, fake teeth, and age-inappropriate costumes. They don't always win, but if sucking us into a daylong viewing marathon counts for anything, they've certainly got our vote. (Wednesdays starting June 5, 9 p.m. on TLC) —Nuzhat Naoreen

This entertainingly over-the-top gorefest manages to make its predecessors in the series look like Chekhov. (In limited release June 14) —Clark Collis

The eateries associated with food TV are often terrible. (We're looking at you, Guy Fieri.) But the sweet treats from the stars of TLC's DC Cupcakes are worth every calorie. (georgetowncupcake.com; the next DC Cupcakes special airs June 14 at 7 p.m. on TLC) —Kate Stroup

The Tennessee tabloid princess somehow rescues this intoxicatingly heady beat brew from Snoop's dopey Rasta-come-lately shtick. (On iTunes) —Kyle Anderson

Sure, you watch for the supernatural drama. But when you check the episode ratings, that's not what the S stands for, now, is it? (Sundays starting June 16, 9 p.m. on HBO) —Mandi Bierly

''My guilty pleasure is UFC. I love it. That's the only reality show I watch. [My girlfriend tunes in for] all the Top Models and things. That's too much for me. Women not eating is not my idea of fun.''

A game so simple — swing a piece of candy, maneuvering it into a waiting creature's mouth — you could say it's stupid. But who asked you? (New version Cut the Rope: Time Travel out now) —Adam Carlson

The brothers are all married — with kids — but their piano pop still exudes a youthful verve on Anthem. (Out June 18) —Grady Smith

Typing the phrase ''TV news bloopers'' into YouTube unlocks a treasure trove of F-bombs, on-air fights, wardrobe malfunctions, and uncontrollable giggle fits. —Adam Markovitz

The airport-newsstand fave offers fine page-turning suspense in assassin novel The Hit. (Now in paperback) —Stephan Lee

Now, that's a plot twist: One character's spirit seems to have entered the body of her old body's fiancé. (Sundays starting June 23, 9 p.m. on Lifetime) —Mandi Bierly

Hannah Davis. Oh, snap. —Adam Carlson

A medical examiner solves crimes with the help of a tough-as-nails detective played by...glamazon Angie Harmon? If you think it sounds ludicrous, you'd be right. If you think it sounds fun, you'd be even righter. (Tuesdays starting June 25, 9 p.m. on TNT) —Adam Carlson

The dubstep goof ''Tom Hanks Is an A--hole'' and his country ballad about getting drunk on mouthwash are hypnotic gut-busters. (Album Drunk Texts to Myself out now) —Kyle Anderson

Like Die Hard in the White House! And even more like Olympus Has Fallen! But it stars Channing Tatum in a wife-beater. (Out June 28) —Grady Smith

''I read crap magazines on the plane. But doesn't everyone?''

Fans of Nickelodeon's Victorious know that Grande has a surprisingly strong set of pipes. Her hit single is bubblegum at its poppiest. (On iTunes) —Abby West

Let your hate flag fly with Hater, a social-networking app dedicated to your dislikes. Don't you love it? (Out now) —Samantha Highfill

Wipeout is for wimps. American Ninja Warrior has the toughest obstacle course in the world, a mega-monstrosity of balance-throwing, forearm-nuking challenges. (Mondays starting July 1, 8 p.m. on NBC) —James Hibberd

By Some Miracle I Made It Out of There is a tell-all that really tells all. (Out now) —Stephan Lee

Girls Gone Wild goes gonzo in Harmony Korine's fever dream. Like a real spring breaker, you might need to take a shower after the movie is over, but you won't soon forget it. (On DVD and Blu-ray July 9) —Josh Rottenberg

Work, shmirk. Wouldn't you rather devour online photos of Hardy cuddling canines on the set of his movie Animal Rescue? —Kate Stroup

Take a melodramatic — yet gripping — trip with the survivors of a tragic car accident. Get ready to feel. (Now in paperback) —Stephan Lee

What the TV movie lacked in depth, it more than made up for in bad wigs and drinking-game-ready dialogue. Cheers! (On DVD now) —Erin Strecker

When hungry but alcohol-averse aliens invade a remote Irish island, the local population has to stay drunk to avoid becoming dinner for the tentacled monstrosities. (In limited release and on VOD July 19) —Clark Collis

Season 3 won't start until early 2014, so now is the time to catch up on the sudsy reboot. (On Amazon Instant Video) —Mandi Bierly

The show has lost some edge, but we're always game for a boy-band mash-up of ''Bye Bye Bye'' and ''I Want It That Way.'' (On iTunes) —Grady Smith

It's not high art. It's not even art. But those little blue guys are guaranteed to provide comforting waves of nostalgia. (Out July 31) —Lindsey Bahr

Damn it, we're pulling for these two! —Kate Stroup

Kittens befriend German shepherds. Tiny hedgehogs get their heads stuck in toilet-paper rolls. Fuzzy-haired mammals make adorable high-pitched noises. Sometimes that fuzzy-haired mammal is you, gasping, ''Squeeeeee!'' (Saturdays starting Aug. 3, 8 p.m. on Animal Planet) —Melissa Maerz

A cappella is inherently cheesy. (Blame the sweater-vests.) But Pentatonix — the funky quintet from The Sing-Off — transcend the genre's dorkiness with creative arrangements and major viral-video appeal. —Grady Smith

It doesn't try to be anything other than what it is — a so-bad-it's-awesome Liam Neeson action flick with a laughably high body count. (Out now on DVD and Blu-ray) —Chris Nashawaty

Why not go younger than YA? We're talking middle-grade territory (meant for ages 8 to 12). Read Wonder by R.J. Palacio or House of Secrets by Chris Columbus and Ned Vizzini. (Both out now) —Stephan Lee

Don't pretend you've never belted out ''You don't know you're beautiful!'' in the car. Now you can do it in your local cineplex, thanks to this Morgan Spurlock concert doc. (Out Aug. 30) —Grady Smith

The self-deprecating singer will light up your Twitter feed with sheer randomness, witty pop-culture-inspired bromides, and the occasional Snoop Dogg reference. —Samantha Highfill

''I like to buy jackets every once in a while. It's scandalous.''