'Fast & Furious': 18 Life Lessons Gallery

Every criminal has to stand for something, and for Dominic Toretto, family is everything in an I-will-physically-bust-through-this-wall-if-you-so-much-as-look-at-my-sister-the-wrong-way kind of way. Because, at the end of the day, once the race is over, the cops have been beaten to a pulp, and entire neighborhoods have been destroyed by a steel vault, who else is going to love and support you and say grace at weekend barbecues?

For alcoholics, it’s all about taking things one day at a time. For racing junkies, it’s a quarter mile. And when you’re traveling 100-plus miles per hour, that quarter mile has to be lived to the fullest. Just be aware that putting the pedal to the metal might result in a broken arm (but no other injuries).

When it comes to a bareknuckle throw down, it clearly doesn’t matter how large or strong or professionally trained your opponent is. So long as you’re wearing the appropriate lifts in your shoes and let your passion shine through, you will come out of the fight on top and with only a little cut above your eye to show for it.

Beware of motorcyclists—odds are they’re either crooks or, even worse, cops. People who drive around on two wheels clearly cannot be trusted, unless removing their helmet unleashes a sea of beautiful curls that rest upon even more beautiful breasts.

Pregnancy is a magical thing, especially for criminals who put family first. But be warned, young fetus: Your family will protect you once you’re behind the wheel of a car, but while you’re still in the oven, mom might have to jump through a few roofs. But don’t worry. You’re a Toretto. You’ll be just fine.

It’s a lesson that Hobbs had to learn the hard way—gearheads trump FBI agents every time (especially when one of the gearheads is a former FBI agent who knows how everything works). But to be fair, the FBI shouldn’t feel that bad, because gearheads also seem to trump the world’s smartest criminals, not to mention the grim reaper himself. 

Your lead can be as big as you want it to be, but the driver who crosses the finish line first gets the pride and glory (and the roll of cash). Plus, unless your name is Secretariat, races aren’t nearly as fun when someone wins by a mile.

Crossing the border is yet another thing that good drivers can do better than the rest of us. For them, drug smuggling is a matter of racing through some very sturdy and not-at-all detectable tunnels. If they don’t have to worry about carrying drugs across the border, then who’s going to stop them from steering their way across country lines? Not border patrol, that’s for sure.

Comic book superheroes are not acceptable. Neither are Volkswagens. You got that, Bow Wow? No race for you!

Jumping from one car traveling 120 mph to another car traveling 120 mph? Amateur stuff. Jumping a car off a 400-foot cliff at that speed while remaining focused and jumping from said car in just enough time to land safely in the water and come out completely unscathed? Now that‘s how the cool kids do it.

Sending Dom back to prison at the end of Fast & Furious was unacceptable. So wingman Brian came up with a so-crazy-it’s-gotta-work idea: Wreck the prison bus, don’t worry about the carnage. Brian’s insane gamble paid off, and all the passengers walked away with barely a tear in their orange jumpsuits. (Refer again to lessons 5 and 10.)

The world of street racing is not the place for a dainty woman. Either take off your clothes or prove that you’re worthy behind the wheel (or behind a solid punch). If you have dreams of being a respectable housewife, we hear Stepford’s nice this time of year. In this world, get naked or get dirty, and earn yourself some R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Dom and Letty are the couple at the center of this franchise. He wears tank tops. She wears leather pants. They both wear a fair amount of engine oil. He picks her up by her ass (twice!). She risks her life to clear his name and then she comes back to life. And then? He launches himself through the air at 100 mph to save her life. Romeo and Juliet, you’re doing it wrong.

Being smart isn’t enough. You have to have an edge, and your survival chances will greatly increase if that edge involves making booties go smack.

A note from Brian’s driving school:

We told you all those parking lessons would pay off. We’re so proud of you. Thanks for keeping the streets safe by driving on boats instead. You’re the best. And we love your blue eyes.

You don’t get into the FBI solely based on how large your biceps are, and Hobbs proved that when he dispersed some wisdom about investigating. You see, just when you think a building is empty … that’s when you’ll conveniently find something small on the pavement that will tell you everything you need to know. (It’s a fact Dom already knows well. Just ask Fenix.)

On their own, NOS and harpoons are both very valuable weapons. But when combined, they can take down MMA fighters, and even more impressively, the world’s largest plane. Dom and his crew almost never go anywhere without them. In other words, they’re the secret keys to world domination.

We already know that Dom can defeat men two, even three times his size, and it’s just as important to note that he does so with his bare hands. Because on the streets, guns are for cheaters. However, wrenches and other pieces of jagged medal are both very cool and highly recommended.