'DWTS': Sizing Up Season 16's Cast

Here’s that mysterious ”Sharna” Tom Bergeron kept mentioning, from the DWTS Troupe! Chances are, 47-year-old professional loose cannon Dick will not be around to delight and/or horrify viewers for long. Unless he’s got actual dancing chops, people are more likely to vote for the other actor/comedian — and the pro they already know.

The boxing champ and new pro, a So You Think You Can Dance season 9 alum, could have enough explosive tiny-people power and lightning-fast moves to keep them in the ballroom for a couple of weeks. Ortiz, 26, claims to be ”building what no boxer has ever built.” Could he be referring to a house of gems? Probably not.

It’s always risky trotting out with a new pro, but this Real Housewife of Beverly Hills, 52, is one of the most likable Real Housewives out there. (I know. I KNOW. But still.) And one cannot discount the potential influence of Vanderpump’s dog, Giggy the Pom, and his sizable fan following. Giggy’s recent alopecia flareup, for example, could bring in some sympathy votes for the pair. Dozens, at least.

The actor and political commentator, 49, was one of the four comedians in Spike Lee’s Original Kings of Comedy. But that was 13 years ago, and he’s only popped up here and there since then. Unless he charms everyone and can pull off a sensual rumba in a sheer lavender shirt, this could be Cheryl’s shortest season yet.

Wynonna’s fans love her, and bonus points if Ashley and Naomi show up in the ballroom. But the 48-year-old country star may have trouble pulling in votes with her dancing, especially since Tony Nation has been so recently sated by his much-deserved All-Stars win last season.

She’s a Disney Channel actress no adults have ever heard of, but she can dance (check YouTube) and they’ll look young and pretty. But oh, wait, the (Shake It Up) star is only 16. Is Val gonna have to keep his clothes on? They have no chance.

This man I did not recognize played Jax on General Hospital for 15 years. Soap stars tend to do well…and what the heck, who else are we going to vote for in this group?! The two attractive Aussies could have the most charming chemistry together and ravish us all.

Reality worlds collide — CMT Award-winner Kellie, 26, is the first former American Idol contestant to be cast on DWTS. Her unabashed country-bumpkin spirit can be very endearing, and many fans think Derek should have won last season. Still, hasn’t he won enough?

Olympians always go far, and Aly — a member of U.S.A. Gymnastics’ Fab (or Fierce) Five — will be no exception. I can’t wait to see her parents freak out in the audience as they did during her bars routine. But Mark already won with Olympic gymnast (and DWTS: All-Stars runner-up) Shawn Johnson, so this partnership could strike many viewers as same-old, same-old. Not to mention, McKayla is not impressed.

The wry Irishman’s fans should be happier with Dorothy, ”America’s Sweetheart,” after his two seasons of partners heavy on pure entertainment value (Nancy Grace, Gladys Knight). The 1976 Olympic and World champion figure skater, former Ice Capades star and recent breast cancer survivor is still light on her feet at 56. Who knows — the pair may glide by Aly and Mark based on charm and legacy alone. Plus, Anne Hathaway has Dorothy Hamill hair now. She’s trending!

The DWTS ballroom is the perfect place for likeable former Bachelor Sean to shimmy around in his favorite outfit: just a towel.

Surprise! The football player, 28, will win.