Dialect Laughing: 22 Horrible Movie Accents
Will Smith After Earth (2013)
What would we sound like in a post-apocalyptic future? Movie critics are having a hard time believing it's anything like what we hear from Smith, whose dialect has been described as a muddled amalgamation of Caribbean, South African, and U.S. mid-Atlantic —Lanford Beard
Drew Barrymore Ever After (1998)
The film's set in France, but every character speaks with a British accent? Fine, we'll suspend our disbelief. But it's tough to keep it suspended when the movie's leading lady sounds like she's starring in a high school production of The Importance of Being Earnest. —Hillary Busis
Nicolas Cage Con Air (1997)
Forrest Gump + a mouth full of molasses x greasy Game of Thrones hair = Cage's Cameron Poe, a mumbly swamp creature who's supposedly from Alabama. —Hillary Busis
Cate Blanchett Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Blanchett's Colonel Dr. Irina Spalko is supposedly searching for an alien cranium — but when she opens her mouth, it sounds more like she's trying to hunt down Moose and Squirrel. —Hillary Busis
Julia Roberts Mary Reilly (1996)
Doing an Irish accent without going full leprechaun can be tough. Roberts' solution? Speak like an American, but pronounce vowels wrong every now and then. (''Sir? You said you have? an AILness.'') Spoiler alert: Her method isn't exactly successful. —Hillary Busis
Jon Voight Anaconda (1997)
If Don Corleone were a Paraguayan snake hunter (are you listening, Hollywood? This is gold!), he might sound a bit like Voight's cartoonish villain. —Hillary Busis
Heather Graham From Hell (2001)
Is Graham's strangely robust Whitechapel prostitute supposed to be cockney? Irish? Dick van Dyke-ese? Whatever she's going for, it ain't good. —Hillary Busis
Don Cheadle Ocean's Eleven (2001), Ocean's Twelve (2004), Ocean's Thirteen (2007)
Even Cheadle's friends told him that his cockney inflection was bunk — but the Oscar nominee didn't listen, subjecting us to his accent in three movies total. —Hillary Busis
Angelina Jolie Alexander (2004)
Alexander ''huh?'' moment No. 1: Colin Farrell with blond hair?
Alexander ''huh?'' moment No. 2: Angelina Jolie as Farrell's mother?
Alexander ''huh?'' moment No. 3: Wait, does Jolie's character actually want to sleep with her son?
Alexander ''huh?'' moment No. 4: What's up with Jolie's strange, purring drawl?
Alexander ''huh?'' moment No. 5: Why did we see this again?
Kevin Costner Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)
If Kevin Costner was too short on time to polish his English accent, as he claims in the DVD commentary, he shouldn't have put his sad effort on the big screen. But he did (kind of). His accent in the 1991 film faded in and out more times than a Waterworld moviegoer. There was, however, one upside to his bizarre inflection in the film — it spawned Cary Elwes' famous line in Mel Brooks' 1993 spoof, Robin Hood: Men in Tights: ''Unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.'' —Kate Ward
Brad Pitt The Devil's Own (1997)
Sorry, what? Did you say something? Brad Pitt — in his prime, Sexiest Man Alive years — wasn't believable as a suave Irish terrorist? Hmm... somehow we were too distracted to notice. So pretty... —Kate Ward
Steve Martin The Pink Panther (2006)
True, Steve Martin's over-the-top French accent increased the funny factor of the flawed 2006 remake, but we can't let him off too easy, as we'd be hard-pressed to find a Frenchman would twist the pronunciation of hamburger into damburgen. —Kate Ward
Tom Cruise Far and Away (1992)
Tom Cruise dodged a bullet with Valkyrie — wisely opting to play his German officer with an American accent — so his worst attempt at an accent remains as Irishman Joseph Donnelly opposite Nicole Kidman in Ron Howard's off-key immigrant song. —Kate Ward
Keanu Reeves Dracula (1992)
Whoa, Keanu. After mangling a British accent in Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula redux, you chose to give it another try in 1993's Much Ado About Nothing? Stick to kung fu, bruh. —Kate Ward
Jessica Simpson The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
It's fairly obvious there were two key reasons why Jessica Simpson was cast as Daisy Duke in the 2005 comedy, but after seeing the film, we know one of those reasons was definitely not her less-than-convincing Southern twang. But Simpson was recognized for her work with two award nominations — at the 26th annual Razzies.
Adam Sandler The Waterboy (1998)
Our mamas told us we shouldn't see this poorly received football comedy. Too bad we didn't listen: We'd rather eat an alligator than watch Adam Sandler attempt a Louisiana accent again. —Kate Ward
Mel Gibson Braveheart (1995)
Harrison Ford K-19: The Widowmaker (2002)
Harrison Ford + bad Russian accent + $100 million budget action flick = $35 million total domestic gross. 'Nuff said. —Kate Ward
Shannon Elizabeth American Pie 1 and 2 (1999-2001)
We know what you're thinking: Shannon Elizabeth talked in the 1999 sex-romp comedy? For those of you who might have been too distracted admiring her — ahem — assets to notice, yes, she had a few lines as an exchange student with a thick accent. And a bad one at that. Only a real boob would believe she hailed from Czechoslovakia. —Kate Ward
Dick Van Dyke Mary Poppins (1964)
It's impossible not to look back at Dick Van Dyke's chimney-sweeping performance in the kiddie musical with fondness. But it's also impossible not to notice his terrible attempt at a cockney accent, which often faded in the film before you could utter supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. What can we say? The sound of it was definitely something quite atrocious. —Kate Ward
John Malkovich Rounders (1998)
Too bad when John Cusack et al. journeyed inside the mind of the actor in 1999's Being John Malkovich, they didn't learn how he adopted that over-the-top Russian drawl while playing Teddy KGB in John Dahl's poker flick — the accent was so outrageous, it was altogether too easy to call his bluff. —Kate Ward
Mickey Rooney Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)
For a film that boasts so much class (That black dress! That dreamy ''Moon River'' rendition!), it's hard to believe Tiffany's producers would stoop so low by casting Mickey Rooney as Holly's stereotypical Japanese neighbor. Not only was he not the slightest bit believable as a native Japanese speaker in the 1961 classic, but he managed to offend droves of film critics and moviegoers as well. —Kate Ward