Dialect Laughing: 22 Horrible Movie Accents

What would we sound like in a post-apocalyptic future? Movie critics are having a hard time believing it's anything like what we hear from Smith, whose dialect has been described as a muddled amalgamation of Caribbean, South African, and U.S. mid-Atlantic —Lanford Beard

The film's set in France, but every character speaks with a British accent? Fine, we'll suspend our disbelief. But it's tough to keep it suspended when the movie's leading lady sounds like she's starring in a high school production of The Importance of Being Earnest. —Hillary Busis

Forrest Gump + a mouth full of molasses x greasy Game of Thrones hair = Cage's Cameron Poe, a mumbly swamp creature who's supposedly from Alabama. —Hillary Busis

Blanchett's Colonel Dr. Irina Spalko is supposedly searching for an alien cranium — but when she opens her mouth, it sounds more like she's trying to hunt down Moose and Squirrel. —Hillary Busis

Doing an Irish accent without going full leprechaun can be tough. Roberts' solution? Speak like an American, but pronounce vowels wrong every now and then. (''Sir? You said you have? an AILness.'') Spoiler alert: Her method isn't exactly successful. —Hillary Busis

If Don Corleone were a Paraguayan snake hunter (are you listening, Hollywood? This is gold!), he might sound a bit like Voight's cartoonish villain. —Hillary Busis

Is Graham's strangely robust Whitechapel prostitute supposed to be cockney? Irish? Dick van Dyke-ese? Whatever she's going for, it ain't good. —Hillary Busis

Even Cheadle's friends told him that his cockney inflection was bunk — but the Oscar nominee didn't listen, subjecting us to his accent in three movies total. —Hillary Busis

Alexander ''huh?'' moment No. 1: Colin Farrell with blond hair?
Alexander ''huh?'' moment No. 2: Angelina Jolie as Farrell's mother?
Alexander ''huh?'' moment No. 3: Wait, does Jolie's character actually want to sleep with her son?
Alexander ''huh?'' moment No. 4: What's up with Jolie's strange, purring drawl?
Alexander ''huh?'' moment No. 5: Why did we see this again?
—Kate Ward

If Kevin Costner was too short on time to polish his English accent, as he claims in the DVD commentary, he shouldn't have put his sad effort on the big screen. But he did (kind of). His accent in the 1991 film faded in and out more times than a Waterworld moviegoer. There was, however, one upside to his bizarre inflection in the film — it spawned Cary Elwes' famous line in Mel Brooks' 1993 spoof, Robin Hood: Men in Tights: ''Unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.'' —Kate Ward

Sorry, what? Did you say something? Brad Pitt — in his prime, Sexiest Man Alive years — wasn't believable as a suave Irish terrorist? Hmm... somehow we were too distracted to notice. So pretty... —Kate Ward

True, Steve Martin's over-the-top French accent increased the funny factor of the flawed 2006 remake, but we can't let him off too easy, as we'd be hard-pressed to find a Frenchman would twist the pronunciation of hamburger into damburgen. —Kate Ward

Tom Cruise dodged a bullet with Valkyrie — wisely opting to play his German officer with an American accent — so his worst attempt at an accent remains as Irishman Joseph Donnelly opposite Nicole Kidman in Ron Howard's off-key immigrant song. —Kate Ward

Whoa, Keanu. After mangling a British accent in Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula redux, you chose to give it another try in 1993's Much Ado About Nothing? Stick to kung fu, bruh. —Kate Ward

It's fairly obvious there were two key reasons why Jessica Simpson was cast as Daisy Duke in the 2005 comedy, but after seeing the film, we know one of those reasons was definitely not her less-than-convincing Southern twang. But Simpson was recognized for her work with two award nominations — at the 26th annual Razzies.

Our mamas told us we shouldn't see this poorly received football comedy. Too bad we didn't listen: We'd rather eat an alligator than watch Adam Sandler attempt a Louisiana accent again. —Kate Ward

Aussie Mel Gibson's Scottish intonation in this Oscar-winning picture was so ineffectual, native Scots voted it one of the worst of all time in a survey conducted by film memorabilia website www.AsWornIn.com. —Kate Ward

Harrison Ford + bad Russian accent + $100 million budget action flick = $35 million total domestic gross. 'Nuff said. —Kate Ward

We know what you're thinking: Shannon Elizabeth talked in the 1999 sex-romp comedy? For those of you who might have been too distracted admiring her — ahem — assets to notice, yes, she had a few lines as an exchange student with a thick accent. And a bad one at that. Only a real boob would believe she hailed from Czechoslovakia. —Kate Ward

It's impossible not to look back at Dick Van Dyke's chimney-sweeping performance in the kiddie musical with fondness. But it's also impossible not to notice his terrible attempt at a cockney accent, which often faded in the film before you could utter supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. What can we say? The sound of it was definitely something quite atrocious. —Kate Ward

Too bad when John Cusack et al. journeyed inside the mind of the actor in 1999's Being John Malkovich, they didn't learn how he adopted that over-the-top Russian drawl while playing Teddy KGB in John Dahl's poker flick — the accent was so outrageous, it was altogether too easy to call his bluff. —Kate Ward

For a film that boasts so much class (That black dress! That dreamy ''Moon River'' rendition!), it's hard to believe Tiffany's producers would stoop so low by casting Mickey Rooney as Holly's stereotypical Japanese neighbor. Not only was he not the slightest bit believable as a native Japanese speaker in the 1961 classic, but he managed to offend droves of film critics and moviegoers as well. —Kate Ward