DASTAN (Jake Gyllenhall)
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
The saving grace for this interesting princely mane is that it must bounce and wave wonderfully during all that running and leaping.
ANTON CHIGURH (Javier Bardem)
No Country for Old Men
Not since Predator has a super-villain pulled off such a ridiculous hairstyle. Oddly enough, though, Chigurh’s pageboy haircut was just the touch needed to round out the creepiness of his murderous character.
VELMA VON TUSSLE (Deborah Harry)
And you thought Dennis Hopper in Speed was crafty. The bad girl of John Waters’ 1988 camp film used her beehive to conceal a literal ticking time bomb.
AMBER (Elisa Donovan)
If mean girl Amber had known that Velma’s bomb-laced weave was possible, she might have incorporated it into her own ’90s beehive and gone all Heathers on her Beverly Hills classmates. Instead, she chose to enhance her locks pacifistically with feather headbands, pigtail ringlets, and plenty of other, yes, clueless coifs.
JULES WINNFIELD (Samuel L. Jackson) and VINCENT VEGA (John Travolta)
More curious than France’s Royale with cheese is the hit men’s choice to sport Jheri curls and that slicked-back bob. We think we’d politely decline a foot massage from these two.
WAYNE CAMPBELL (Mike Myers) and GARTH ALGAR (Dana Carvey)
Okay, so party time wouldn’t be quite as excellent if not for the duo’s Whitesnake-gone-bad locks. But, seriously, are they mental?
LLOYD CHRISTMAS (Jim Carrey) and HARRY DUNNE (Jeff Daniels)
Dumb and Dumber
One look at Lloyd and Harry’s hairdos, and it’s pretty obvious why the movie’s titled Dumb and Dumber. And why Harry is driving that shaggy dog van.
ROY MUNSON (Woody Harrelson) and ISHMAEL BOORG (Randy Quaid)
We couldn’t salute Dumb and Dumber and then ignore that other follically-challenged Farrelly Bros.-created duo. Munson’s combover would even make Donald Trump laugh.
LOTTE SCHWARTZ (Cameron Diaz)
Being John Malkovich
Speaking of the Farrelly Bros., Diaz’s famed There’s Something About Mary style mishap was, well, hair-rising, but we’d prefer that ‘do over her character’s out-of-control curls in the trippy Spike Jonze film.
CYN (Joan Cusack)
Doesn’t everyone wish they had a friend like Cyn? She’s supportive, caring, and you’d already know what to get her for her birthday (hint: it rhymes with Blaquanet).
WILLY WONKA (Johnny Depp)
Charlier and the Chocolate Factory
As if Willy Wonka’s high-pitched voice and penchant for punishing children wasn’t freaky enough, his chin-length bob managed to give us everlasting nightmares.
KID ‘N PLAY (Christopher Reid and Christopher Martin)
We can’t help but take our hats off to Kid ‘N Play for actually pulling off those inverted pyramid-shaped hairstyles. Now, if only we could forgive them for those two sequels…
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (Jon Heder)
Napoleon Dynamite and
JIMMY MacELROY (Jon Heder)
Blades of Glory
The list has a double offender: Jon Heder’s curly mop in Napoleon Dynamite was bad, but his wavy coif in the Will Ferrell buddy flick was downright mind-bottling.
TRAVIS BICKLE (Robert De Niro)
Travis’ mohawk might have made him a little more intimidating, but really, how intimidating could a toilet brush hairdo be? But hey, if you were an insomniac, you might make the same styling mistake too.
CLEMENTINE (Kate Winslet)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Sure, it’s bad, but we do have to give Clementine props for matching her red-orange mane to her name.
LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE (Aileen Quinn)
Okay, okay. We know it’s cruel to mock a child — especially one that would be hard-pressed (get it?) to afford a flat iron. But come on, that red ‘fro? Even Daddy Warbucks’ hair looked better.