'Celebrity Apprentice': 10 Blue-Chip Moments

Gene Simmons deserves kudos for having the longest tongue I've ever seen. He also deserves kudos for having the cojones to insist that he knew more about the Kodak brand than the company executives. And this was after he lost the task! ''It's a Kodak world — welcome!'' he kept repeating for no reason in particular. After refusing to concede that his presentation was not spectacular and ''seductive,'' and then also refusing to bring anyone legitimate back into the Boardroom to fire instead, Donald Trump begrudgingly gave the rocker the heave ho.

This may have been Celebrity Apprentice at its most baffling — and that's saying something. Taking a page out of his Sopranos handbook, Vincent Pastore was dispatched by Piers Morgan to spy on the women's team and then report back what he discovered. In Sopranos/mob parlance, he was acting as a rat. But then, about halfway through the experiment in which Pastore pretended to be a defector to the ladies' team, he changed his mind and actually defected to the ladies team! And then he got fired. Brilliant.

The first of Celebrity Apprentice's many jaw-dropping feuds. Omarosa and Piers Morgan had been going at it all season, and it all came to a head when they were put on a task together to sell carriage rides. After Morgan claimed that Omarosa spelled his name wrong on a form, she threw the piece of paper in his face and followed that up with nuggets like ''The mother of your children hates you, Piers. And your children hate you, Piers. They are embarrassed by you.'' Morgan then flipped out, describing Omarosa as both ''a disgusting little tramp'' and ''a disgusting piece of slime.'' (Well, which is it, man — tramp or slime? Make up your mind!) He also informed Ivanka that he ''literally wanted someone to strangle her slowly and then pour sulfuric acid into her horrible diseased torso.'' Give that man a talk show!

When tasked with operating a hotel, Project Manager Dennis Rodman decided the best way to lead his team to victory was to get wasted and then compare notes with hotel guests about strip clubs and invite himself to their dinner outings. When questioned by his teammates as to why he was drunk and had abandoned them for a night on the town, he stripped out of his random chauffeur outfit and just left. I'll drink to that!

I don't know what Clink Black was thinking when he made an ad for All implying that he used detergent to masturbate with, but he obviously wasn't thinking about ''Little Clint'' because lord that sounds painful! But seriously, do I need to repeat that: He made an ad implying he used detergent to masturbate with! He also insisted that ''It was a small load. I did it by hand.'' What the hell is wrong with Clint Black?

This is still my favorite Celebrity Apprentice freak-out. But not so much for a fired Melissa Rivers losing her marbles and hobbling around in a cast while dubbing Annie Duke and Brande Roderick ''whore pit vipers.'' No, this argument reached truly dizzying levels of greatness when mom Joan then rushed in to defend her daughter's honor — and really, how much honor can you have when you are appearing on Celebrity Apprentice? — denigrating Duke the best way she knew how: ''You're a poker player,'' she said with every ounce of disdain she could muster. ''A pooooooka playaaaaaaaaa.'' As if that was the ultimate insult. The utter look of helpless confusion on Adrian the elevator operator's face when the Rivers women stormed into his elevator was the cherry on top.

You would think that a former governor would know how to use a cell phone. Or a laptop. But you would be wrong! At least when that former governor is Rod Blagojevich. Trying to watch Blago navigate technology was a nonstop delight in his short but sweet Celebrity Apprentice run, which came to an untimely end when he proved his Harry Potter knowledge to be no better. Not only did he name two of the Hogwarts houses ''Slythering'' and ''Ravencloth,'' but he also couldn't even get the name of the theme park he was tasked with promoting correct, dubbing it ''The Wizardry World of Harry Potter.'' The entire thing was, well, magical.

Proving that sex is never far from Brett Michaels' mind (or other body parts), the Poison frontman turned a fitness club challenge into an excuse to make up something called the Tour Bus Thrust, which basically was an exercise that mirrored banging a groupie. Trump seemed particularly interested in this one.

I don't care how into art you are: Whatever you do, don't you dare consider ever stealing Meat Loaf's paints. Because as he proved on Celebrity Apprentice, he'll go completely bonkers even if you don't steal his paints. In approximately two minutes, Mr. Loaf let fly with 1 s---, 1 bulls---, 6 motherf---er or motherf---ers and 16 — yes, 16! — good ol' fashion f--- or f---ings. That's 24 expletives. 24! The target of his rage was Gary Busey for stealing his paints. Only it turned out Busey didn't steal them. Whoops!

The best part of NeNe telling off La Toya over the course of three episodes is how completely nonsensical it all was. To recap, NeNe undermined La Toya by telling Don Jr. (while in a koala costume) what an awful Project Manager she was and then openly denigrated her as well. But then when La Toya meekly mentioned that she would not be friends with NeNe after the show, the Real Housewife flew into a rage. Because why wouldn't La Toya want to be friends with someone who mocked her as Casper the Ghost and said other hurtful and hateful things like ''You are an old lady'' and ''The only reason you've gotten this far is because of your last name''? Luckily for La Toya, it appears NeNe has tired of taunting her and moved on to slamming Star Jones instead.