Best Supporting Pets: Our Nominations

Heroes

He looked on with abject sorrow as the Bennet residence burned to the ground in a radioactive blaze. He mournfully watched televised dog-show footage after he was banished to a life of anonymity deep in the heart of Texas. And in a moment that made us wonder if the world’s cutest Pomeranian might have special powers of his own, he excitedly yapped skyward after spotting Claire’s airborne paramour above the Bennet driveway. —Michael Slezak

Friends

For the first season, Marcel was like the seventh Friend, until Ross got sick of him humping everything in sight he got too fabulous for all of them and peaced out. Later, Ross found him on a New York movie set, starring in Outbreak II: The Virus Takes Manhattan. Sounds like a better gig than Joey ever had. Shine on, you cheeky monkey! —Dawnie Walton

Harry Potter series

Of all the pets in the Potter-verse, the superstar is Hedwig, Harry Potter’s snowy owl; the film franchise’s iconic musical theme is not named after Hedwig by accident. She dutifully sends and delivers mail for the Boy Who Lived, but she’ll give him the cold shoulder if she’s unhappy. Scene-stealing moment: Hedwig outshines Daniel Radcliffe in the opening scene of Chamber of Secrets when she demands to be let out of her cage. That is one sassy bird. —Joy Piedmont

Green Acres

Talk about hogging the spotlight! Eddie Albert was twice nominated for an Academy Award, but all the pig known as Arnold Ziffel had to do was flip on a TV set and hop in a chair to watch a Western, and the distinguished actor was playing second fiddle in the absurdist landscape of Hooterville. As the ”son” of farmer-neighbors the Ziffels, Arnold would go to school, sleep in a crib, get drafted (pictured), star in the town play, fall in love with a basset hound, and, years later, memorably figure in Pulp Fiction hitman Jules’ explanation on why he doesn’t ”dig on swine.” —Steve Korn

Married…With Children

Look who’s talking! Viewers got to hear the cheeky canine’s thoughts via often corny but always welcome voice-overs by writer Kevin Curran (and, on special occasions, Cheech Marin). He was lazy, mostly talked and thought about sex, and boasted a resigned sense of contempt for the people around him. In other words, he was a natural-born Bundy. —Annie Barrett

The Silence of the Lambs

It’s hard to fathom that an adorable bundle of snow-white fur could lend creepy support to one of the most chilling scenes in recent cinematic history. But that’s exactly what happens when little Precious (played by the uni-monikered Darla) lets out a bark of approval after her serial-killer master, Buffalo Bill (Ted Levine), looks into his basement pit and tells his latest victim, Catherine Martin (Brooke Smith), that ”it rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.” As the scene ends, and Precious’ high-pitched yips mingle with Catherine’s screams of terror, it’s all too clear that the movie’s murderous fiend sees more humanity in his four-legged friend than he does in the young woman he’s planning to skin. And it’s truly, madly, deeply disturbing. —Michael Slezak

The Dukes of Hazzard

Let’s be honest: By season 3, those extended chase scenes needed some juice. Enter Flash, Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane’s shotgun-riding basset hound. The 55-pound pooch was more than a partner in hot pursuit. ”Velvet Ears” was also an excellent judge of character, barking at Boss Hogg whenever possible.—Mandi Bierly

Cinderella

The talents of these singing rodents ranged from sewing to cheese eating to miraculously catching their thimble hats on their heads mid-scurry! And if they hadn’t tag-teamed the evil stepmother’s billowing purple pocket to steal the giant key, ”Cinderelly” would still be trapped in her pitiful little maid’s room. Maybe if more mice were like these two, people wouldn’t find rodentia so absolutely disgusting. —Annie Barrett

Frasier

Remember how popular Jack Russell terriers were circa 1993? You can thank this cute little fella for igniting that craze. Also awesome about Eddie: He’s got the best comic timing and stare skills in the biz, and somehow, he manages to retain his dignity while being the butt of everybody’s jokes:

MARTIN: ”I call him Eddie Spaghetti.”
DAPHNE: ”Oh, he likes pasta?”
MARTIN: ”No, he has worms.” —Dawnie Walton

The Abbott and Costello Show

Two unemployed men sharing a rooming-house apartment in the early ’50s — naturally, logic dictates, your ideal third cohabitant would be a chimp. Who dresses in the same clothes you do. TV lore has it that Lou Costello eventually refused to work with the sartorially splendid simian scene-stealer; professional jealousy? Perhaps — though the tale that Bingo bit him may have had something to do with it too. —Steve Korn

Gilmore Girls

Paul Anka just sits there and looks confused by all the Gilmores’ witty banter. But his shaggy locks and big pink tongue still seem to keep all my attention every time he’s in a scene. —Samantha Harmon

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The Legally Blonde movies

Elle Woods knows that cute Chihuahuas are the perfect accessory. And even though Bruiser doesn’t say a word, he is clearly the star of the Legally Blonde films (after Reese Witherspoon, of course). In the sequel, Bruiser not only gets it on doggy-style with a same-sex canine partner, but gets all of Congress behind his namesake bill. I present to you Bruiser Woods: a true American hero. —Mark Luckie

The Wizard of Oz

There’s a reason why the most quotable line from The Wizard of Oz is ”I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!” It’s because Toto, Dorothy’s dog, is the definition of loyalty, courage, and wisdom. Through every adventure, Toto is there to help out in any way possible. Sure enough, it’s Toto who pulls back the curtain concealing the man who pretends to be Oz. Scene-stealing moment: when Toto escapes from the evil Miss Gulch (don’t tell me you weren’t cheering). —Joy Piedmont

Clash of the Titans

We’re still trying to figure out what this incongruous clockwork owl was doing in ancient Greece, but no matter. When Perseus (Harry Hamlin) goes into battle against that steroidal Kraken, it’s his little golden, mechanical flying friend (whose ridiculous tweeting gibberish only he can understand — thank the Gods!) that ultimately saves the day. —Joshua Rich

Pee-wee’s Big Adventure

What can I say? Speck is tiny and spotted (hence the name), and also the absolute cutest thing in Pee-wee’s house — a pretty big deal, considering that house is already overrun with cuteness. —Katy Caldwell

Meet the Parents

Is it possible to high-five a feline? Talk about scene-stealing tension breakers: When a visit from young lovers Gaylord Focker and Pam Byrnes (Ben Stiller and Teri Polo) wreaks havoc on her childhood home — and, oof, grandma’s ashes — it’s the toilet-trained, swimming-champ cat who, erm, puts the mess to practical use. —Joshua Rich

There’s Something About Mary

There’s something about Mary, all right — and that ”something” is Puffy, her neighbor’s small border terrier-cum-bodyguard. If Puffy doesn’t approve of a suitor for Mary, you can be sure Mary won’t either, which is why this hapless hound gets doped, beaten up, set on fire, steamrolled, and fed amphetamines; he finally hurls himself (accidentally) out of a window and into a full body cast. Puffy deserves a medal for all the abuse he takes trying to protect Mary, but it’s a human that won the final battle — Ben Stiller took home the statuette for Best Fight Sequence (with Puffy) at the 1999 MTV Movie Awards. —Adrienne Day

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

If a pet is going to talk, it better be a wisecracking, smart-aleck cat like Salem, the feline friend of Sabrina Spellman (Melissa Joan Hart). His cute puns brought life to an otherwise droll show. Plus — if he wasn’t looking — you could always scratch his belly. As far as wizards trapped in cat bodies go, Salem ranks high on my list. —Mark Luckie