GIA ALLEMAND, The Bachelor Season 14, Jake Pavelka
Residence: New York, NY
Best known for: Telling Jake that bullies stole her shoes in grade school; falling for Wes during season 1 of Bachelor Pad.
Chances of winning: Fair. Gia will have no trouble finding male allies in the house, but she’ll likely be hindered by her extremely poor judgment. (Case in point: She’s still friends with Jake.)
JUSTIN ''RATED-R'' REGO, The Bachelorette Season 6, Ali Fedotowski
Residence: Toronto, Canada
Best known for: Hobbling away from an angry Ali as she confronted him about having a girlfriend back home.
Chances of winning: Fair. Rated-R is a competent-enough liar, and as an aspiring professional wrestler he theoretically should be able to win any strength-based competitions.
HOLLY DURST, The Bachelor Season 12, Matt Grant
Occupation: Children’s Book Author
Residence: Hollywood, CA
Best known for: Bringing her own spray-tanning machine to the Bachelor mansion; breaking off her post-Bachelor engagement with Bachelorette contestant (and fellow Bachelor Pad 2 competitor) Michael Stagliano.
Chances of winning: Poor. Having her ex-fiancé in the Pad will make Holly look even more damaged than the other damaged goods on the women’s team.
GRAHAM BUNN, The Bachelorette Season 4, DeAnna Pappas
Residence: New York, NY
Best known for: He just wasn’t that into DeAnna.
Chances of winning: Fair to good. The ”ladies” seem to think he’s hot, and in this Pad, that’s half the battle.
VIENNA GIRARDI, The Bachelor Season 14, Jake Pavelka
Residence: Los Angeles
Best known for: Her extremely tense and uncomfortable post-breakup interview with Jake last summer, during which she told Chris Harrison, ”I don’t want to be on the cameras all the time.” Now dating former Bachelorette contestant Kasey Kahl.
Chances of winning: Very good. Fifteen million people watched Jake propose to Vienna, and another 7.8 million watched their relationship implode on a wicker couch. You don’t think producers are going to want to keep this duo in the Pad as long as possible?
KASEY KAHL, The Bachelorette Season 6, Ali Fedotowski
Residence: Clovis, CA
Best known for: Getting a tattoo on his wrist as a visual representation of his desire to ”guard and protect” Ali’s heart. Is now dating Vienna.
Chance of winning: Decent, thanks to his wily girlfriend.
ALLI TRAVIS, The Bachelor Season 15, Brad Womack
Residence: Columbus, OH
Best known for: Telling Brad she was once dumped for having too much junk in her trunk; getting booted after a doomed dinner with Brad at a table that literally began sinking into a pond.
Chances of winning: Unclear. She’s definitely not the hottest girl in the Pad, but something tells me she might be crazier and craftier than she’s letting on.
MICHAEL STAGLIANO, The Bachelorette Season 5, Jillian Harris
Residence: Sherman Oaks, CA
Best known for: Being a kick-ass break-dancer and the best contestant ever. (Okay, maybe he’s just my favorite.) Recently ended his engagement to Holly Durst, though his twin brother Stephen is still engaged to former Bachelorette DeAnna.
Chances of winning: Fair. Stag is such a nice guy it’s unlikely his fellow contestants will perceive him as a threat — and the whole ”my fiancée dumped me” thing is bound to win him points with the ”ladies.” But…nice guys tend to finish last in the Pad.
ERICA ROSE, The Bachelor Season 9, Lorenzo Borghese
Residence: Houston, TX
Best known for: Playing the spoiled little gold digger, tiara and all.
Chances of winning: Pretty good. She may act like a ditz, but Erica has enough reality TV savvy to create drama, with help from her friends Vienna and Kasey.
JAKE PAVELKA, The Bachelor Season 14
Occupation: Pilot/Fame Whore
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Best known for: Transforming from handsome all-American Ken doll to scarily domineering A-hole in the five months between his Bachelor finale and his televised breakup interview with Vienna.
Chances of winning: Good. (See: Vienna’s entry.)
ELLA NOLAN, The Bachelor Season 14, Jake Pavelka
Residence: Nashville, TN
Best known for: Getting dumped by Jake during a two-on-one date; attempting to convince a national viewing audience that she’s 31.
Chances of winning: Nonexistent. Like Gwen before her, this cougar — who recently broke off an engagement — is unlikely to have any luck forming the showmantic connection one needs to succeed in the Pad.
JACKIE GORDON, The Bachelor Season 15, Brad Womack
Occupation: Assistant Teacher
Residence: New York, NY
Best known for: Getting the boot from Brad when it was clearly Michelle Money’s time to go.
Chances of winning: Poor. Jackie has yet to display the necessary amounts of crazy to make it in the game called Pad.
MICHELLE MONEY, The Bachelor Season 15, Brad Womack
Residence: Salt Lake City, UT
Best known for: Playing the dominatrix to Brad’s submissive; telling the cameras that seeing Brad with his shirt off made her want to ”go home and touch myself”; waking up with a mysterious black eye.
Chances of winning: Very good. Unlike Jackie, this bitch is all sorts of crazytown, which means she’ll have no trouble attaching herself like a big-breasted parasite to one of the weak-minded male contestants and persuading him to do her dirty work.
KIRK DEWINDT, The Bachelorette Season 6, Ali Fedotowski
Occupation: Personal Trainer
Residence: Minneapolis, MN
Best known for: Having a taxidermist for a father.
Chances of winning: Poor. This guy is too harmless and sweet to win the title of King Bastard of Bachelor Pad Mountain.
MELISSA SCHREIBER, The Bachelor Season 15, Brad Womack
Residence: Boca Raton, FL
Best known for: Inexplicably freaking out on fellow Bachelor contestant Raichel, whom she labeled ”fake.”
Chances of winning: Very, very poor. She’s extremely annoying, and — in Bachelor Pad terms — extremely old.
Occupation: Cellular Phone Salesman/Aspiring stand-up comedian
Hometown: Fostoria, OH
Best known for: Joking during a disastrous ”comedy roast” date that he was disappointed Ashley was the Bachelorette instead of Emily or Chantal; throwing Ben C. under the bus during their two-on-one date…and still getting sent home.
Chances of winning: Poor. William fancies himself to be smart and funny, but in fact he is physically incapable of being anything other than annoying. Bound to make enemies fast.
Hometown: Steamboat Springs, CO
Best known for: Never getting a one-on-one date with Ashley.
Chances of winning: Unclear. Blake didn’t get too much camera time on The Bachelorette (see above), except for his final episode, when he blew his top about Bentley’s return. Could his potentially hot temper make him good TV — and therefore, a contender on the Pad?
Occupation: Portfolio manager
Hometown: New York, New York
Best known for: Getting his ”bell rung” during a Muay Thai boxing match in Thailand.
Chances of winning: I’m going to go out on a limb here and say high. Ames is so insanely polite, he’ll be easy for the others to manipulate — which means he’ll be able to float through the game, meaning he could wind up in the finals before anyone realizes what happened.
Occupation: Host/Armchair psychologist/Red carpet anchor
Best known for: Announcing the ”final rose tonight.”
Chances of winning: Sadly, Mr. Harrison is not eligible to compete — which is good news for the Pad contestants, because this guy’s got major game.