OK Go (2007)
OK…where’d they go? Also, how do they breathe?
Jennifer Lopez (2000)
The Grammy Awards’ default ”shocking outfit” let us in on the wonders of double-sided tape and served as a reminder of how endangered the (silk-screened) rain forests really are.
Anthony Kiedis (1993)
Nothing on top, Kwanzaa gift wrap on bottom. Red-hot, sir.
Imogen Heap (2007)
Oh, are you a fan of nature?
Toni Braxton (2001)
Wow. It just looks so…uncomfortable. Where does the tape…? What if the wind…? I give up; the logistics of it are boggling. (Is that a mud flap?)
Yo-ho-ho, what do we have here? It’s Seal, a full decade ahead of his time in Pirates of the Caribbean couture.
Alicia Keys (2002)
Alicia would’ve looked very cool and minimalist in a tank top and jeans, but somehow my grandma’s nightie got all up in the mix.
Elton John (2001)
Finally, someone who knows how to match.
Christina Aguilera (2001)
Elvira Jr. didn’t exactly mop up the competition that night. But that fringed atrocity could have done a number on the floor.
Foxy Brown (2003) and Lil' Kim (1998)
If you put their outfits together, you’d actually have one properly covered woman.
Michael Portnoy, a.k.a. ''Soy Bomb''
You have one moment of glory, with millions of eyes glued to your every move — and this is what you write on your chest? ”Go Giants” would’ve been more inspiring.
Britney Spears (2001)
Missy Elliott (2002)
Slumber party after the show!
Sheryl Crow (2005)
Look, if you want to be on Dancing With the Stars that badly, all you have to do is tighten up that wrist! Or, you know, just ask.
Earth, Wind & Fire (2004)
Shouldn’t the cutoff year for them getting away with dressing like this have been (very generously) somewhere in the early ’90s?
Gloria Estefan (1989)
Pretty standard Gloria fare; we just thought it deserved to be highlighted…with a beige marker.
Teri Hatcher (2006)
Little Bo Peep goes dominatrix, and I go dead inside. Boy shorts!
Linda Ronstadt (1989)
It’s a Russian nesting doll come to life*!
Sting and Mary J. Blige (2004)
Wait, why is he wearing navy knee socks?! Snuffy and Big Bird sure did grow up to be weird.
Bootsy Collins (2002)
It’s Bootsy, baby! What else did you expect? Rowr!