14 Worst Movie Jobs
As seen in: Fight Club, American Beauty, Clockwatchers, Office Space, Weekend at Bernie's, Up in the Air...too many to name, really
Worst part of the job: The 401(k) is great, and you really love your red Swingline stapler, but the constant intrusion/judgment of outside parties, the passive-aggression of spineless supervisors, dysfunctional fax machines, and the sheer monotony of it all has, in some cases, resulted in midlife crises, lack of remorse over embezzlement and arson, or — in extreme instances — a complete break from reality.
'I Quit' Factor: 7.5 (out of 10)
As seen in: Office Space
Worst part of the job: There few greater indignities than being chastised by your smug manager for wearing the appropriate amount of flair. On the bright side, Flingers and Chili's are just next door.
'I Quit' Factor: 6 (out of 10)
As seen in: Gravity, Apollo 13, Mission to Mars, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Alien series
Worst part of the job: Seriously, how many astronaut movies have you seen where the hero wasn't under direct threat to life and limb at some point because of his or her chosen profession? Space exploration on screen is the definition of high-risk/high-reward employment. You stand a better-than-not choice of getting stranded in space or blown to smithereens, whether that's due to faulty equipment, showers of meteors/space shrapnel, hostile life forms, or any of a million other things that can possibly go wrong. And, sure, many astronaut protagonists ultimately make it out alive (by the skin of their teeth!), but they often lose their friends and colleagues along the way, setting themselves up for a lifetime of PTSD counseling. Still, as Gravity's Mission Commander Matt Kowalski (George Clooney) notes, you can't beat the view.
'I Quit' Factor: 8 (out of 10)
Amusement Park Employee
As seen in: Jurassic Park, Adventureland
Worst part of the job: Sure, you've likely got an unlimited supply of foot-long hot dogs and giant stuffed animals at your disposal, but you're also surrounded by snotty kids, exhausted parents, and — in the most drastic instance — killer dinosaurs... during a power outage... that disables their electric cages.
I Quit! Factor: 6 (out of 10)
As seen in: Up in the Air
Worst part of the job: Sure, you've reached Ludicrous-level frequent flier miles, but you're also responsible for ruining thousands of people's lives. Everybody hates you, and your priorities are totally out of whack. Jerk.
'I Quit' Factor: 5 (out of 10)
As seen in: Wall-E, Men at Work
Worst part of the job: Yes, it's a dirty job. And yes, somebody's gotta do it. But can it get much worse than being completely alone while cleaning up civilization's mess? Even for a seemingly emotionless robot, that's cruel.
'I Quit' Factor: 8 (out of 10)
American Idol Winner
As seen in: From Justin to Kelly
Worst part of the job: Sure, a working vacation to Miami isn't exactly torture, but when's the last time your boss forced you to make out with your coworker?
'I Quit' Factor: 3 (out of 10)
As seen in: Maria Full of Grace
Worst part of the job: The pay is good, as are the drugs (if you're into that sort of thing). There are opportunities for international travel, and it'll speed up your immigration. But the paranoia before, during, and after is a real downside. Well, that and the very real possibility that one of the balloons you're transporting might burst and kill you from the inside.
'I Quit' Factor: 9.5 (out of 10)
As seen in: Swimming With Sharks, 9 to 5, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, Working Girl
Worst part of the job: Not every problem is fixable — especially if the problem is your sadistic overlord of a boss. Then again, sometimes you get the chance to throw rad '90s fashion shows, and there's plenty of potential for upward mobility if you have the right amount of spunk and/or are ''Right on top of that, Rose!''
'I Quit' Factor: 7 (out of 10)
Convenience Store Employee
As seen in: Clerks
Worst part of the job: The people watching can be good, but the hours are terrible, and it's mostly interminable boredom. Crushed by the knowledge that you have no career prospects, free magazines and slushie highs can only provide so much comfort.
'I Quit' Factor: 4 (out of 10)
As seen in: Monster, American Psycho, Blaxploitation
Worst part of the job: Don't believe the lies spread by Pretty Woman, working the corner is no fairy tale. It's not a matter of if the wrong john (possibly wielding a chainsaw) will come along, it's a matter of when.
'I Quit' Factor: 10 (out of 10)
As seen in: Les Misérables, Norma Rae
Worst part of the job: Harassment from all sides, a body covered in grime, apathetic bosses, and the very real potential that you'll be out on the street at the end of the day. Still, it's a lot better than being a toothless prostitute, amirite?
'I Quit' Factor: 5.5 (out of 10)
Prison Guard for the Criminally Insane
As seen in: The Silence of the Lambs, Shutter Island
Worst part of the job: Psychotic behavior isn't contagious, but it sure can take a toll on even the most levelheaded. The good news is, if you do your job right, this is work you can definitely leave at the office. The bad news? That's a big if.
'I Quit' Factor: 6.5 (out of 10)
As seen in: Sunshine Cleaning
Worst part of the job: You never know what you're going to walk into — a bloody crime scene or three days of decay that went unnoticed. In either case, no amount of money or hot showers can get rid the heebie jeebies from this gig.
'I Quit' Factor: 9 (out of 10)