12 Board Games We Want to Pitch as Movies/TV Shows
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Hungry Hungry Hippos
For the Douglass family, this safari was supposed to be a vacation. Instead, it became a bloodbath. When runoff from a factory kills all the plants along a stretch of the Congo River, the hippopotamus population must find alternative sustenance. And unfortunately for the Douglasses, they're on the menu.
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Don't Wake Daddy
This week on Lifetime, Television for Women in Peril: For Tammy Reardon (Alyssa Milano), nighttime is the only safe time. When she married Bill (Dean Cain), he was the nicest guy at the company picnic, but she quickly realized he turns into a monster without his full eight hours. Now she needs to get herself and her daughter Harmony out of the house without waking the sleeping giant. Shh! Did you hear that?
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Pictionary
Sean Penn is sure to claim another Oscar for his emotionally soaring, physically stationary performance as Jeremy Dunworth, a man who can communicate only by drawing pictures with his feet after a car accident leaves him partially immobile. When he alienates his wife (Rachel Weisz) and family (multiple Fannings) while battling depression, he must try to win them back the only way he can. But sorry seems to be the hardest word...to draw.
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Candyland
Pam Grier plays Candy Kane, a sexy vigilante with a sweet tooth for justice, in this cult classic blaxploitation thriller. Candy returns to her old neighborhood when her brother is kidnapped, and her gun-crazy search for her kin puts her right in the middle of a war between opposing gangs like the Gingerbreads, the Peppermint Posse, and the drug-peddling Gum Drop Gang. She also meets a colorful cast of characters, including garish pimp Lord Licorice (Roscoe Orman) and singer/assassin Queen Frostine (Chaka Khan in a memorable cameo).
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Guess Who
Liam Hemsworth (or maybe Garrett Hedlund) stars as a sexy, somewhat competent actor trying to make a name for himself in Hollywood. Unfortunately, his path to success is blocked by a slew of work-alike pretenders to the throne, played by a veritable who's who of who's that: Taylor Kitsch, Josh Duhamel, Jai Courtney (that's someone, right?), the dude from I Am Number Four, and that one who's always smirking. You know who I mean.
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Connect 4
In Connect III, Reg Caldwell pulled one last job and thought he was out of the life for good. He was wrong. Again. With only four bullets in the chamber, he takes on syndicate boss Milton Bradley (William Fitchner), who has kidnapped Caldwell's sister. Luckily, sis (Gina Carano) is known to be pretty sneaky herself.
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Jenga
Disaster-film mega-producer Irwin Allen brings together an allstar cast to act out this eternally resonant tale of corporate skullduggery and urban terror. The Jenga Corporation has contracted dashing architect Rock Jackson (Charlton Heston) to create a modern-day Tower of Babel: the tallest skyscraper in the world. Unfortunately, a poor economic climate leaves the Jenga Corporation bankrupt when the project is only half-finished. But vile British-accented accountant Chester Grimble (Michael Caine) conspires with the dying Chairman of the Board — Ulysses K. Jenga (Orson Welles) — to concoct a mad scheme to complete the project: They'll just move the building materials from the lower floors into the upper floors. Disaster strikes when, at the Jenga Building's grand opening, the tower begins to lean. Now, the survivors — including Julie Christie as Heston's love interest, a nun who has lost her faith in God — have to slowly make their way down from the top floor to ground level. One wrong move...and the whole building will topple over.
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Monopoly
Ian McShane stars as J. M. ''Pennybags'' Vanderfeller, a wealthy, lovable, and blisteringly corrupt industrialist who won't rest until he's built four houses and one hotel on every block in the city. The first season of Monopoly focuses on Pennybags' attempt to wrest control of the city's four railroads from the mysterious Man on the Horse (Josh Holloway), who is himself attempting to form an alliance with Jed Stockwell (James Badge Dale), a race car driver who was recently elected utilities commissioner thanks to Mob connections. A running plotline also features the Thimble Killer, an assassinatrix played by Paz de la Huerta in a performance described by many critics as ''naked.''
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Trouble
Mel Gibson plays Mel Gibson.
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Sorry
Simultaneously a sequel and prequel to Trouble.
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Chutes & Ladders
From the network that brought you a whole bunch of shows about two people who just can't get along...comes another show about two people who just can't get along! Maria Bello plays Alexa Chutes, an ambitious cop with big dreams; Jill Hennessy plays Riley Ladders, a former lieutenant whose career is in a downward spiral. Or maybe one of them is a doctor or a lawyer or something. The point is: Derrrr-awwww-maaaa!
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Operation
In this 100 percent medically accurate romantic comedy, Chris Pratt plays Richie Lucas, a Major League shortstop and prospective MVP who begins to suffer from a nasty knee effusion. In preparation for surgery, he meets the lovely and quirky Dr. Madison Wallace (Katherine Heigl). The two form an instant connection, and Madison hatches a kooky scheme to stay close to Richie: During surgery, she claims Richie shows classic signs of various pseudo-scientific injuries like the Charley Horse, Butterflies in the Stomach, and Brain Freeze, thereby requiring him to stay in the hospital for further operations. But can their love survive the inevitable malpractice lawsuit?
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- By Jef Castro