Julia (Debra Messing) on Smash
We appreciate the comfort of a good sweater, but Broadway lyricist Julia looks like she’s constantly battling the flu in her chunky knits and never-ending supply of scarves. When your kerchief is doubling as a tissue, it’s time to get a new look.
Dallas (Cheryl Hines) on Suburgatory
How could anyone not love Dallas? Sure, she looks as plastic as a Barbie doll, but at her heart, she’s a loving mother who ditches her unfaithful husband and buys her daughter a kangaroo to make up for it. So why is she still dressed like a trophy wife? Gold lamé dresses and feathery boas do not an modern woman make.
Kalinda (Archie Panjabi) on The Good Wife
We get it, Kalinda, you’re a badass. You don’t need to wear bondage gear to make your point. Surely, a leather jacket would be enough to show off your edge.
Christina Aguilera on The Voice
Christina, it’s like you wanted to be on this list. We could have picked any of the outfits you wore on The Voice this season, but the scarlet hair extensions and star-spangled pants were by far one of the worst. Red, white, and ewww. Cee Lo and Adam, you’d better watch out. If your Kermit suit and cardigans are anything to go by, Christina’s bad taste is contagious.
Caroline (Beth Behrs) on Two Broke Girls
Let’s talk pearls. Caroline’s a former rich girl, but now that she’s on her own, it’s time for her to exchange those giant baubles for a necklace that doesn’t make her look like she’s fifty. And we could do without Max’s pearl necklace jokes, too.
Louis CK on Louie
You’re not a bad-looking guy, Mr. CK, but those dumpy T-shirts and baggy jeans aren’t doing you any favors. Could you possibly class it up a tad? We’re not talking three-piece suits or anything, but perhaps a long-sleeve shirt and a pair of khakis?
Shoshanna (Zoisa Mamet) on Girls
Yes, that is Shoshanna in a peace sign print Snuggie. We’d let it slide except when she’s not lounging in a slanket, she’s dressing like a 9-year-old who’s OD-ed on Juicy Couture. Three words: pink velour tracksuit.
Everyone on Sons of Anarchy
Chunky blonde streaks, cleavage-bearing tops, and tight leather jackets. Could the women on this show look any trashier? How can a woman be expected to wrap her arms around her motorcycle daddy when her sleeves are cutting off her circulation?
Ramona Singer on The Real Housewives of New York City
1) No one needs a diamond bigger than her knuckle. 2) A pentagram should not be worn as jewelry unless you are a witch. 3) Wine bottles are never an accessory.
Frankie Heck (Patricia Heaton) on The Middle
Frankie, when it comes to TV moms, you’re a saint. But you deserve so much more than mom jeans and bargain bin button-downs. We understand that you have three crazy kids and more than one mortgage to take care of, so getting dressed in the morning might not be your top priority. Still, we dream of the day we see you in — dare we say it? — a little black dress.