By EW Staff
September 27, 2012 at 12:00 PM EDT
Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

Comedienne Carol Leifer knows awards shows. Not only has she written for several Academy Awards telecasts, but she’s been nominated for four Emmys — for her work on Seinfeld and The Larry Sanders Show and, most recently, for last year’s Oscars. (She lost on Sunday to Louis C.K.)

Leifer, who penned the episode of Modern Family where Phil spent a day at the spa, shared her Emmy experience with Entertainment Weekly.

1. At the Oscars, booze is free. Emmys still make you cough it up at a cash bar ($9 for a plastic cup of wine).

2. Even for my fourth Emmy nomination (Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special, for the 84th Annual Academy Awards), my heart races like a mofo when our category is announced. It’s then I’m glad I opted for the stronger, aluminum-containing deodorant as opposed to the more PC one purchased at Whole Foods.

3. They asked the house to hold their applause until the end for the “In Memoriam” segment. Frustrating. This is the last Emmys for these fine people — is it so horrible to give them one last shout-out?

4. During a commercial break, stagehands furiously hammered in the errant nail that caught on Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ gown.

5. In the ladies’ room at the Governors Ball, I finally met the awesome Mindy Kaling. She also helped me out at the automatic paper-towel machine. Apparently, her hand had a “come hither” look that mine didn’t.

Read more:

5 Things You Didn’t See on TV at the Emmys