By Joshua Rivera
Updated July 26, 2014 at 09:03 PM EDT


  • TV Show

Initially, the riotously funny cast of Archer came by the EW hideout at San Diego Comic-Con to talk about the show’s upcoming sixth season. After the madness of season five’s Archer Vice, there was no telling what to expect from the animated spy comedy.

However, there’s also no telling what the Archer cast is going to say when you put them all in a room together. Fortunately, EW had a camera running.

Here’s the video, with a full transcript below.

Entertainment Weekly: Jon, Archer is a father now, a confirmed father. How does that change him?

H. Jon Benjamin: Well, I didn’t plan on it, right? It was…

Aisha Tyler: No. I crept into his bathroom in the night with some gloves and a napkin and I stole his man seed.

HJB: It was a surprise.

EW: Typical sitcom plot.

AT: It is! Meet-cute.

HJB: It was a real semen grab. That’s an expression. Yes.

EW: So what does this mean for Lana and Archer’s relationship?

Judy Greer: Well that have to get married now, right? You have a baby.

AT: Yeah. ‘Cause that’s what God wants.

JG: That’s what you have to do.

Lucky Yates: If you really pay attention to the show, it’s all about what God wants.

JG: Yeah!

HJB: Lana’s Jewish, so that, uhh..

AT: Does Jewish God not—Lana is Jewish, by the way, and not converted. Born. Mom was Jewish, Dad was a black Sephardic from Ethiopia, so yeah.

LY: True Jew.

EW: So there really are a lot of religious undertones to the show

LY: Oh, you haven’t been watching.

AT: You do not know the show at all! Did you not Wikipedia Archer?

EW: I Wikipedia’d Archer all morning, I did not know that it was second coming of Baby Goliath! Lucky, where does Krieger fit into the religious undertones?

LY: He is the creator himself.

AT: But he’s also godless. He’s a godless creator.

LY: He’s the god that doesn’t believe in himself.

AT: The Architect from the Matrix!

LY: That’s right!

EW: This is getting very meta. But what about Cheryl, where does she—

JG: She’s like Mary Magdalene. The hooker that Jesus forgave.

EW: And her an Jesus kinda got together at one point, right?

JG: And she and Jesus hook up totally, and they make Abby Jesus.

AT: This is going to play out really great in the middle of the country.

EW: So last season was the cocaine season, this season is the Bible season.

AT: But guys, isn’t that like, your year? Like, there’s God season and then there’s cocaine season? Cocaine season is Christmas through Fourth of July, God season is August first through the seventh, and then back to cocaine season again.

JG: So it’s not about Mardi Gras.

AT: No, Mardi Gras, that’s booze season.

EW: So that’s booze season right in the middle of cocaine season and God season.

AT: You’ve got to check Google Calendar. It’s like, programmed in.

EW: I don’t want to keep building up this sort of religion around Archer… Chris: Cyril. Cyril has so many roles in the show. Where is he? Is he the Christ figure, perhaps? Is he the Judas figure?

Chris Parnell: I think of myself as the Christ figure, but Cyril, Cyril is more like the Holy Ghost, I think.

EW: What was the Holy Ghost, exactly? They never explained that to me in Sunday School.

LY: It’s Casper.

JG: That was the Hologram.

HJB: Chris Parnell is in my phone as “Christ Parl.”

CP: I didn’t do that, he didn’t do that, that’s what comes up.

HJB: it’s what comes up in spell check.

EW: Amber, let’s finish off this extremely Christian conversation: Pam, who is she in all this? We have the Holy Ghost, we have so many other religious figures represented here.

Amber Nash: She’s a Lutheran minister. She always has been, actually. So she does services every Sunday. Everyone’s invited.

JG: Nobody comes.

LY: And her services run deep. It’s not just speak. You will be served in many ways at Pam’s church.

AT: And then there’s a Crock Pot lunch.

LY: A Crock Pot mixer.

JG: We call them slow cookers now.

AT: Do we? Is Crock Pot like, the racist term?

LY: No, it’s like, the brand name. Like Band Aid.

AT: It is racist though.

JG: Is it?

AT: I don’t know. Everything is racist.

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