Raising Trump: Read the 16 Craziest Quotes From Ivana Trump's Memoir

We've read every page of Raising Trump, Ivana Trump's new memoir focused on her relationship with her three children, so you don't have to. And we've rounded up a collection of our favorite crazy quotes. Read on to get Ivana's thoughts on Taco Bell, Michael Jackson, and much, much more.

After the divorce, Donald Sr. called Ivana and said, “‘Ivana, I’m keeping Don. You’re not getting him back. I’m going to bring him up myself.’ ‘Okay, keep him,’ I said. ‘I have two other kids to raise.’ Ten minutes later, the bodyguard brought Don back.”

“I avoided playdates like the plague…. I did discourage playdates at Trump Tower. The triplex was just too huge and lavish…. The only person who had an open invitation to come to the triplex for playdates whenever he wanted was Michael Jackson.”

When Eric, who hated to ski, told his mother, “I don’t want to go to Aspen. I don’t want to ski,” she told him, “‘You will go to Aspen, and you will ski.’ Discussion over.”

“The logistics of just getting them there were a nightmare. We had limos and company cars with drivers to take them.”

“If a mother wants to attach a baby to her boob, do one side, then the other side, burp him, get him to take a nap, then do it all over again when he wakes up, go right ahead. For me, it just wasn’t possible.”

“I found out later that as soon as I took the eggs to hide, the kids ran into the security room, where we had dozens of cameras monitoring the property.”

“In my town house on East 64th Street, I have a leopard room with spotted wallpaper and upholstery, and feline-themed art…. The third floor is my floor: the leopard sitting room; the master bedroom, with a gold-embossed fireplace and Chinese murals that I had restored by artists referred to me by the Metropolitan Museum of Art; and a pink marble bathroom…. The fifth floor has two maids’ rooms and my closet, which goes on and on and on. I call it Indochine because by the time you get to the end of it, you might as well be in another continent.”

“I had a humidity-and-temperature controlled fur vault for my dozens of designer mink, sable, and chinchilla coats. The kids would break into it and pull my furs off the hangers to use in their games.”

“The catering and banquet services would set up a dozen tables in meeting rooms and decorate them with balloons and confetti.... The cakes, made by the Plaza’s pastry chef, were enormous—often with a few tiers.”

“The kids dressed up and took their little plastic pumpkins door-to-door in the building with the nannies and me smiling behind them.” Much later, “when Donald and I had become very well known, I was worried about the kids trick-or-treating with just the nannies, so our security men would follow them, incognito.”

“My version of helicopter parenting was to bring the kids to work with me in the Trump chopper.”

“I hired a real estate broker and we flew around the area in the helicopter so she could point out the estates that were available and tell me a bit about them.”

“FYI: They don’t serve wine at Taco Bell. One learns new things every day.”

“A year later, in 2006, my yacht was parked at Cannes for the film festival, and I was having a party with 200 people on it.”

“I’m not convinced about some of the Orthodox customs, but if Ivanka was willing to give up lobster and bacon, she must really love him.”

“It wasn’t easy to raise three kids as a full-time working mother, even with nannies.”