Amy Schumer, Allison Williams, and more wrote brief essays for a new book digging into the TV phenomenon

By Luria Freeman
March 12, 2018 at 10:00 AM EDT
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Bachelor Nation

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Bachelor fans have had a stressful week. Monday, it was revealed that the most recent bachelor, Arie Luyendyk Jr., proposed to a smitten Rebecca “Becca” Kufrin during the finale of the show’s 22nd season only to dump her just before the After the Final Rose special and propose to runner-up Lauren Burnham on live television. Luyendyk has joined a short and unpopular list of controversial Bachelor leads, and Becca will begin her run as the 14th Bachelorette this April.

In Bachelor Nation, the recently released exposé of all things Bach, author Amy Kaufman asked a few of Hollywood’s elite to explain why they indulge in what she calls “America’s Favorite Guilty Pleasure.” In each of these short essays, these entertainers explain how they got hooked, how the shows impact their lives, and comment on the franchise’s bad reputation.

We’ve picked out our favorite quotes from celebrities such as Amy Schumer, Scandal‘s Joshua Malina, and serial reality TV star Spencer Pratt. Read their thoughts below.

Amy Schumer (Inside Amy Schumer, Trainwreck)

“The most interesting thing I’ve seen on the show in a long time was Corrine saying, ‘Nick listens to me. Guys don’t usually listen to me.’ I remember feeling that way growing up. All through middle school, high school, college—guys weren’t like, “I just want your thoughts on this.” It’s like, everyone is drunk and they just want to hook up, and it’s so painful that that’s all they want from you that you have to trick yourself into thinking that’s what you want, too. You’re just gunning for these moments of intimacy. Some people luck out, and they meet a great person in high school or college. I didn’t. I was part of the pattern. It’s kind of awful to watch the show I most look forward to every week. It’s fucked up.”

Allison Williams (Get Out, Girls)

“And increasingly, it feels absurd that they don’t know anything about what’s happening in the outside world. The fact that the election came and went without hearing any mention of it on this show…feels impossible. I would give anything to see a political discussion within this group, but maybe that’s just me.”

Nikki Glaser (Not Safe with Nikki Glaser)

“We don’t want to see them getting married. We just want to see them getting proposed to, because the idea of someone wanting to spend the rest of their life with you is better than actually doing it.”

Spencer Pratt (The Hills, Celebrity Big Brother)

“I used to live tweet during The Bachelor, and I loved it, until it became an unsafe environment. All I did was like a fellow Bachelor fan’s tweet and she said she wanted to kill herself. It was Anna Kendrick. She wrote something like, ‘@SpencerPratt just favorite my tweet, looks like I now need to go kill myself.'”

Melanie Lynskey (Two and a Half Men, Castle Rock)

“By the time I was twenty-one, I think I was engaged, like, five times. I was kind of crazy. I’d get into these romances and suddenly I’d be engaged to somebody and then I’d break it off. I’d live with people after a week. So watching The Bachelor, I’d think, These people are nuts if they think it can happen so quickly! And then I was like, Wait a minute. I got engaged to someone I’d known for ten days. And he proposed to me with the top of a Champagne bottle.”

Diablo Cody (Juno, Jennifer’s Body)

“I sometimes watch it because it’s fun to watch stupid people mate. I feel real bad about that. And I also feel bad about the fact that I have found myself laughing at people’s pain so many times. I remember on Kaitlyn’s season, there was a guy everyone called Cupcake. She dumped him and there was this long, lingering shot of him sobbing hysterically on a hill. I laughed so hard.”

Paul Scheer (The Disaster Artist, Veep)

“I used to think guy like Andrew Firestone: Oh, yeah. That guy looks cool. And now it seems they’re like, Fuck it! Let’s just have fun with these dummies! No offense to anybody, but one of the Bachelors lived at home with his parents. That’s not the prize you want to put on TV. None of these people are prime husband material anymore.”

Joshua Malina (Scandal)

“I spend a lot of time saying to my kids, “Don’t do that or that,” It’s kind of an object lesson in how not to comport yourself. Don’t go on group dates. That’s not a thing. That is not normal. Don’t make out with eight people in one night. You don’t have to make out with somebody the first time you meet them at all. And if you do, maybe explore your relationship with that person for the entire rest of the day. As romantic as it might sound to arrange for a private concert with your date, it’s really not romantic and it’s very horrible and awkward. So if you’re ever tempted to pay for a tertiary-level pop star to serenade your date, don’t do it. So rather than banning my children from watching it, it’s like: Let’s see what we can learn from this.”

Donnie Wahlberg (New Kids on the Block, Blue Bloods, The Sixth Sense)

“On Mondays, when we’re shooting, I’m rushing the director to finish the scenes on Blue Bloods so that everyone in the crew who watches Bachelor can get home and make it in time to watch it. Around five o’clock, I’m gonna start rushing the director and suggesting other ways to shoot the scenes so we can be done by seven so everyone can make it home at eight to watch. I’m very honest about it. I will literally walk on-set after lunch and say, ‘OK, it’s Monday. Bachelor in Paradise tonight. Let’s get the hell out of here so everyone can watch.'”

Jason Ritter (Kevin (Probably) Saves The World, Parenthood)

“I feel like it becomes a reflection of your own issues surrounding romance. [My fiancee] Melanie [Lynskey] and I have gotten into little fights about the show. I’ll be using Nick Viall as a punching bag, but actually be talking about myself and how I feel. I’m like, ‘He’s just trying to be honest! It’s complicated!'”

Patti Stanger (The Millionaire Matchmaker)

“This generation doesn’t see the fairy take of the men rescuing them, because they don’t have poster people. In my day, it was still Cinderella. But now, the Prince is dead and Cinderella knows she’s gotta make it on her own.”

Bachelor Nation

  • Book
  • Amy Kaufman
  • Dutton