By Isabella Biedenharn
May 10, 2017 at 11:41 AM EDT
Douglas Gorenstein/Getty Images; Little, Brown and Company

Each week leading up to the publication of David Sedaris’s Theft By Finding, a collection of the writer’s humorous diary entries from 1977 to 2002, EW is revealing one exclusive clip from the audiobook — which, of course, Sedaris reads himself.

Today’s clip features diary entires from October 1998: In one, Sedaris’s longtime partner Hugh cuts off the tip of his finger and Sedaris frantically realizes he doesn’t know how to say “band-aid” in French. In the other, Sedaris’s sister Amy tries to convince him to buy a miniature potbelly pig, and can’t fathom why he isn’t interested.

Listen to the clip below. Theft By Finding is available in print and audio formats on May 30.