Sidibe will speak with Lena Dunham and Roxane Gay on her book tour — and read EW's exclusive excerpt.

By Isabella Biedenharn
April 05, 2017 at 10:54 AM EDT
Credit: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

We’ve been eagerly awaiting Empire star Gabourey Sidibe’s memoir, This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare, since it was announced in 2015 — and the essay collection’s May 1 release date is finally approaching. To celebrate the book’s publication, Sidibe will embark on a star-studded tour, featuring conversations with Roxane Gay, Lena Dunham, and Another Round’s Tracy Clayton.

EW can exclusively announce Sidibe’s tour dates, below — and get a taste of what you can expect from the hilarious book in the excerpt that follows.

Credit: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Adapted excerpt from This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare by Gabourey Sidibe:

Whenever I want to tweet something risky, I make a note of it instead in the notepad of my phone and I keep it. I don’t tweet it.

Here’s a list of some of my thoughts that were too funny to tweet:

Gabby SidiBae (@GabbySidibe): I love scenes with Andrea and her grandma cuz they’re both the same age. #BeverlyHills90210

(I didn’t watch Beverly Hills 90210 when it was on because I was in elementary school and that’s what all the cool girls in my class watched and I was against everything they were into. Turns out, it is a pretty entertaining show, but I’m still glad I waited. Andrea was clearly older than all the other students at that school, but to be fair, they all looked like they were in their early forties. I say that as someone who played a teenager until I was thirty. Also, I never want to tweet something that might hurt someone’s feelings and Gabrielle Carteris has always been hella nice to me.)

Gabby SidiBae (@GabbySidibe): My New Year’s resolution is to start asking Uber drivers to not talk to me without sounding like a bitch… f— it. It’s impossible.

(Listen. I wear big-ass headphones over my ears for a reason! I can’t hear Beyoncé over your talking about how you got way into gardening and driving around strangers after your youngest left for college in the spring. I mean that’s cool and every-thing, but I’m on my way to the gyno, and I just want to sit here, think my thoughts, and get in formation to receive a stranger’s hand in my lady parts. There’s no nice way to say this!)

Gabby SidiBae (@GabbySidibe): Look. I don’t care for dinosaurs. If I can’t ride one, what do I care what lived billions of years ago? You didn’t even know it had feathers until like three years ago! Mind ya business, stupid!

(Look, I know I’m in the minority here, but I really hate dinosaurs. I hate them. Maybe hating them is how I process my fear that one day they’ll come back somehow. I couldn’t sit through Jurassic Park. I’m so grateful that we don’t have to live beside those giant monsters. But how can we be sure that some evil scientist with plans to rule the world won’t bring dinosaurs back into existence? What will we do then, society?!)

Adapted excerpt from THIS IS JUST MY FACE: Try Not to Stare by Gabourey Sidibe. Copyright © 2017 by Gabourey Sidibe. Used by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.