2018 MTV Movie And TV Awards - Inside
Credit: Chris Polk/Getty Images

Ah, the MTV Movie & TV awards…where superhero movies and Tiffany Haddish finally get the recognition they’re denied at the Oscars. This year’s awards show was pre-taped on Saturday, so this intrepid reporter pulled on her Spanx and downed a few complimentary cans of wine (yes, they were giving out cans of wine) to bring you the inside scoop on what really happens behind closed doors.

2018 MTV Movie And TV Awards - Show
Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images

The festivities took place in an airport hangar

While it may look like this is all happening in some trendy club or auditorium, the MTV Movie & TV Awards actually took place in the Barker Hangar in Santa Monica, Calif., which is basically just a massive event space that they built a stage in. The red carpet was just yards from a museum about air travel and a whole bunch of portable toilets.

Celebs munched on macarons and drank champagne

While seated at their tables, celebrities were given plates of adorable petit fours with mini-macarons and a dessert that looked like sushi. Of course, the bubbly was flowing.

2018 MTV Movie And TV Awards - Inside
Credit: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

Tiffany Haddish took two tries on her Cardi B-inspired intro

Just watching that rap and dance routine got me winded — but to get the timing (and the inflatable belly!) just right, the host Tiffany Haddish had to perform the entire thing twice.

Haddish kept everyone entertained by dancing during the commercial breaks

Even when the cameras weren’t rolling, the host kept the crowd grooving by dancing along to the music while she stood on stage waiting for her next cue.

2018 MTV Movie And TV Awards - Inside
Credit: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

Waffle House hero James Shaw got a long standing ovation

After Chadwick Boseman won the award for Best Hero for his portrayal of the Black Panther, T’Challa, he brought a real hero on stage, James Shaw — who took down a gunman in a Waffle House last April. Shaw received a standing ovation that lasted for almost a full minute, and the clapping was so loud, Boseman could hardly finish his speech.

2018 MTV Movie And TV Awards - Inside
Credit: Emma McIntyre/Getty Images

April Ludgate and Andy Dwyer reunited!

Chris Pratt’s Parks and Recreation costar Aubrey Plaza helped present him with the Generation Award, but the two reunited much earlier in the night, sitting at the same table.

Haddish kept riffing after Chris Pratt accepted the Generation Award

In his speech, Pratt offered up some advice, including his protocol for, um, poop. But before the show cut back from commercial, Haddish retook the stage and offered her own musings on the mechanics of going number one and number two during the same bathroom break, wondering out loud if men ever decide that they need to poop while they’re standing at the urinal. Oh, Tiffany!

The show lasts a lot longer than it does on TV

Between breaks, set-ups, costume changes, and a few flubbed lines that required another take, the MTV Movie & TV Awards takes a lot longer to watch in person than it does from the comfort of your couch. The ceremony began a bit after 6 p.m. and went until after nine, making it a full three-hours long in person, and one hour longer than the TV broadcast. Those cans of wine came in handy…