By Danielle Jackson
Updated October 31, 2016 at 03:40 PM EDT
Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Zayn Malik is opening up about his personal experiences battling anxiety.

In his new self-titled book, the singer and former One Direction member shares some details about his life since leaving the boy band and why his anxiety has lead to the cancellation of many of his past performances.

“I just couldn’t go through with it. Mentally, the anxiety had won. Physically, I knew I couldn’t function. I would have to pull out.”

Malik went on to write that he eventually grew tired of releasing statements and coming up with false excuses for the canceled shows.

“Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of; it affects millions of people every day. I know I have fans out there who have been through this kind of thing, too, and I wanted to be honest for their sake, if nothing else.”

The 23-year-old also explains that he dealt with anxiety even while performing with One Direction, though it was performing as a solo artist that left him feeling much more vulnerable. He goes on to explain his frustration following the speculation he faced after his decision to come forward.

“All sorts of stories were flying around afterward. All I’d say is: Always take everything you read online with a pinch of salt. I found it really frustrating that, even now that I was being upfront about what the issue was, some people still found reasons to doubt it. But that’s the industry.”

Zayn is now available for pre-order and will be released on Nov. 1. Read the entire excerpt from his book over at Time.