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October 26, 2016 at 12:00 PM EDT

If you thought young trick-or-treaters had strong feelings about Halloween goodies, they’ve got nothing on Gordon Ramsay.

During a recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live, the fire-breathing British culinarian and MasterChef host unloaded a profane (but bleeped) review of the five worst Halloween treats — even though the holiday is “not a big thing in the U.K.”

Never one to mince words, Chef Ramsay denounced Smarties (“the perfect combination of aspirin and Tums”), circus peanuts (“clown s‑‑‑!”), candy corn (“earwax formed in the shape of a rotten tooth”), and apples (“Do I look like a f‑‑‑ing teacher, mate?”), while still saving some wrath for a non-food item.

Watch his rant above.

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