By Evan Slead
September 20, 2016 at 07:29 PM EDT
Lula Carvalho

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

  • Movie

After covering each of the Transformers films, its only fitting that Honest Trailers give its witty, hard-edge honesty to the latest Michael Bay project, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows.

While the Transformers director only produced the latest in the turtle franchise, his attachment makes this Bay’s ninth film to undergo a breakdown from the popular YouTube series. Screen Junkies pulls every punch right from the start, stating the latest Paramount release acts as “a sequel that gave fans everything they asked for,” but points out that it “still kind of sucked.”

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles screenwriters Josh Appelbaum and André Nemec returned to pen the script, which gives the sequel a similar taste to its 2014 predecessor. “When the same lazy writers are still handling the script, it’s not going to change much.” The heroes in a half shell also returned, in all of their “CGI-roid monster” glory — but they had some new faces to join them. The new and old human cast featured “Tyler Perry in nerd face, multiple Oscar nominee Laura Linney pretending to look at turtles, and Megan Fox reminding us why she’s still PG-13’s best porn star.”

Even Arrow star Stephen Amell gets slammed for his portrayal of Casey Jones, the “most badass character in the canon.” In the Dave Green directed version, Amell is a “bumbling cop” who “makes roller-skates out of an office chair” and commits the carnal sin of “never fighting alongside the turtles.” While he’s not quite a villain, Jones is the least of the film’s problems in Honest Trailers terms, as the infamous Shredder’s return is marked with scenes where he “just stands around without even putting his costume on.”

With the final climactic moments up for scrutiny, other films from this decade, including the Avengers, Captain America: The First Avenger, Iron Man and Big Hero 6 also get thrown into the mix to illuminate how a “blue beam sky hole finale” won’t cut it anymore. Overall, the sentiment on the turtle’s return is that it’s “both dumb and hard to follow.”

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

  • Movie
  • PG-13
release date
  • 06/03/16
  • 112 minutes
Complete Coverage
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows