'This is not how you behave in a CVS,' the first lady tells the comedian

By Nick Maslow
September 14, 2016 at 12:17 PM EDT
Michael Rozman/Warner Bros.
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When Michelle Obama wasn’t busy co-hosting Tuesday’s episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the first lady took a trip to CVS — yes, the drug store — with the loudspeaker-toting comedian.

“You push the basket because nobody’s going to push it for you,” DeGeneres told Obama, kicking off the beginning of a shopping trip that found DeGeneres causing all sorts of trouble.

“CVS, of course, stands for cotton, Vaseline, and stuff,” the host said to Obama, who was quick to fire back, “No, it doesn’t. That’s not true.”

Soon, the first lady found herself trying to tame DeGeneres, who began opening products before buying them. “Wait Ellen, don’t open these up in the store,” she said, shocked.

DeGeneres only became more relentless, using a long wooden stick to scratch Obama’s back when she was trying to find the right headphones for her daughter Sasha. “Can you chill out on the itching and help me with this?” said Obama, who at this point was making more of a polite demand than request.

When DeGeneres started scratching an employee who was helping them, Obama laughed and remarked, “This is not how you behave in a CVS.”

Next, DeGeneres began opening up alcohol, prompting Obama to declare, “You are really not a good person to shop with.” Things calmed down when they began sharing a box of wine with other customers, only for DeGeneres to loudly ask Obama if she needed to get cream for “that rash” they were talking about.

When all was said and done at the check-out, Obama really let DeGeneres have it: “You know, you’re really annoying. It’s like taking a 3-year-old to the store.”

DeGeneres must have liked the sound of that, because she climbed into Obama’s cart and got pushed out of the store. Watch it all go down in the video below.

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  • 09/08/03
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  • In Season
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