Credit: CBS

Wednesday’s Apple keynote made big news, mostly for the announcement that the upcoming iPhone 7 would replace the classic headphone jack with wireless earbuds. Stephen Colbert followed this up a few hours later with his own parody panel on The Late Show. Dressed like Tim Cook in a simple button-down and slacks, Colbert outlined his parody vision for the iPhone 7, one that went far beyond a missing headphone jack.

“We also got rid of the home button,” Colbert said. “Now some companies might stop there. But we thought, if less is more, how much more could we less? We think you’ll be very excited about all the things we didn’t include.”

Colbert’s iPhone 7 also lacked a glass front, and doesn’t need to be charged because it doesn’t have a battery. It’s just “quite simply, a solid chunk of metal.” Colbert did have a replacement for all the classic iPhone utilities, however: A new feature called “iFriend.” To demonstrate, a guy named Gabe joined Colbert on stage. Colbert said hello and then Gabe said hello, causing the host to turn proudly to the audience and remark on the “instant verbal response.” iFriend even solved the iPhone 7’s headphone jack problem.

“I know what you’re asking, how will I play my music? Well, it’s this simple,” Colbert said. “I still have my old headphones right here. Gabe, can I borrow your iPhone 6?”

Gabe then gave Colbert his current iPhone, complete with headphone jack, and the host proceeded to silently jam out while declaring, “The iPhone 7! The next thing we’re asking you to buy!”

Watch the clip below.

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
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