'She does not understand humor or joy,' says comedian Mike Lawrence
Credit: Michael Tran/FilmMagic

Ann Coulter’s lines at the Roast of Rob Lowe failed to draw big laughs from the audience, but the pundit can’t blame the Comedy Central writing staff.

“Fun fact about that: We wrote her a lot of jokes. She does not understand humor or joy,” said Mike Lawrence, who wrote for the Rob Lowe roast, in a Facebook Live segment following the show on Monday.

He continued: “She turned [the jokes] down and decided… Most of what you saw was her own stuff. And you know, what I’m really sad about is that the world will never get to hear Ann Coulter’s jokes.”

After playing a montage of Coulter at the mic, Lawrence described her taste as “the perfect trio of comedy: racism, homophobia, and Mike Pence,” adding, “You can’t go wrong there.”

Soon, Lawrence’s cohost Earl Skakel whipped out a hand puppet he named Coultergeist to reveal the “Ann Coulter jokes that should have been told.” Keep reading for the zingers, and then watch the complete video below.

  1. “I have to say, Rob, it’s nice to finally not be the most hated person in the room.”
  2. “Peyton Manning is a model citizen and his forehead is a model for the wall that Trump’s going to put between the U.S. and Mexico.”
  3. “Ralph Macchio’s first ever credit was in the movie Up the Academy, playing a character called Chooch Bambalazi. Are you serious? Even Donald Trump thinks it’s too racist to call a wop Chooch Bambalazi.”
  4. “That would be like if Jeff Ross’ first credit was a character named Mosha Gefilte Fish Streisand Ziegmillianberg. And before you ask, Jeff, I wouldn’t f— you with Hillary Clinton’s d—.”
  5. “Rob Lowe is like America: He hasn’t been great since Reagan was president and unemployment is becoming more and more of a problem for him.”
  6. “Giving you a roast is the worst decision Comedy Central’s made since they replaced Jon Stewart with a South African child. That’s a Trevor Noah joke, the one immigrant I’m most excited to see deported. Am I white, people? Am I white?”