Gallery Books
August 16, 2016 at 01:34 PM EDT

Comedian Amy Schumer gets real about her junk food vice in her first book of essays, The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo, and EW has an exclusive clip from the audiobook.

In an excerpt from the chapter “Secret Bad Habits,” Schumer wryly explains that her mother’s ban on unhealthy food led her to eat tons of junk food in secret whenever she got the chance. “I had friendships based on who lived near bodegas and candy shops,” she says in the clip. “There was one girl I didn’t care for even the slightest bit, but I knew that if I went to her house, I could get enough Sour Patch Kids to kill a large giraffe.”

In her trademark deadpan, the comedian muses on the lifelong effects of her eating habits on her body (“I usually weigh anywhere between 145 pounds and six million pounds,” she jokes) and her relationships.

Hear more about Schumer’s vice — and find out about her “pastizza” invention — in the clip below.

The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo is out in hardcover and audiobook Tuesday from Gallery Books.

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