The comedian tells of the encouter in 'The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo' audiobook excerpt

By Dylan Kickham
Updated August 05, 2016 at 12:00 PM EDT
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Amy Schumer tells an, expectedly, funny tale in an excerpt released Friday from the audiobook version of her upcoming autobiography, The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, revealing the only one-night stand she’s ever had was “perfect.”

In the clip, which the comedian reads, Schumer describes running into the man of her dreams at an airport — a tall, redheaded, British marine — and flirting with him until the two finally decided to hook up after her show that night. True to her honest and raunchy brand of humor, the passage includes lines like “my clitoris was thumping like The Tell-Tale Heart.”

In the end, Schumer reveals why she’s never had a one-night stand since — that any other would pale in comparison. Schumer says the night was a boost in her confidence after finding out a long-term boyfriend she’d recently broken up with had come out as gay.

The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo will be released on Aug. 16. Listen to the excerpt below.

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