Who doesn't want an all-dog Blue Man Group?

By Kelly Connolly
Updated May 30, 2016 at 02:27 PM EDT
Credit: HBO

Listen up, scientists.

Last Week Tonight, “the HBO series containing the fewest games and least impressive thrones,” is off for Memorial Day weekend, but that hasn’t stopped host John Oliver from brainstorming. In a web exclusive, Oliver debuts a new segment, “How Is This Not a Thing?”, in which he wonders why science hasn’t gotten around to meeting so many of our basic needs. We’d just like to know how this segment hasn’t been a thing before now.

Oliver’s suggestions range from “a house key that cries like a baby when you’re about to leave home without it” to a biodegradable treadmill, but he’s especially excited by a sartorial offering: bread pants, “which are of course sweat pants, but made of bread.”

“If you spill,” Oliver patiently explains to the scientists in the audience, who are presumably taking notes, “you don’t wash the pants. You simply tear a piece off the leg, and you eat that too.”

Check out the clip above to see Oliver’s full list of grievances.

Last Week Tonight returns June 5 on HBO.

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