By Christian Holub
Updated March 14, 2016 at 01:43 PM EDT
HBO

Last Week Tonight With John Oliver

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Apple is currently embroiled in a debate with the federal government about whether the company should build software to get around encryption. It may all sound very technical, but as John Oliver pointed out on Sunday, the debate could have far-reaching effects on Americans’ relationship to technology.

The federal government currently possesses the iPhone used by one of the people responsible for the San Bernardino, California mass shooting earlier this year, but have no way to access its information. Officials want Apple to design a software that would allow them to bypass the phone’s encryption. Oliver pointed out this could set a dangerous precedent, and chided supporters of the federal government for thinking about the case too simplistically. The NYPD’s John Miller, for instance, has said that Apple should crack this code then “tear that formula up, toss it in the fire place and throw it away.”

“Oh come on, you know Apple is not writing its code on paper next to a fire place,” Oliver said. “They’re a cutting-edge technology company, not Lord Grantham.”

Oliver did, however, blame Apple for some of the misunderstanding — specifically, their overenthusiastic ads that make it seem like the company can do anything. To fix this mistake, Oliver designed a more honest Apple ad, starring Eugene Mirman as a creepy hacker named Gary.

“We’re barely one step ahead of hackers at all times,” Oliver’s fake Siri voiceover said. “So that when you idiots lose your phone, your information doesn’t wind up in the hands of guys like Gary.”

“Now I can masturbate to photos of your family,” Gary said.

The commercial also used the Apple Watch, the Newton, “that one Mac that looks like a toaster,” and U2’s free download Songs of Innocence as proof that the company is far from perfect. Their employees are “engineers, not wizards,” and there’s no way they could give the federal government what it’s asking for without compromising everyone else’s personal security — especially since encryption programs are so plentiful, it might not even affect the terrorists.

Watch the full clip below.

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Last Week Tonight With John Oliver

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