Credit: Lifetime

This was the week of utter confusion.

The episode kicks off with Ashlee being the only mom who shows up on set. All the kids are there but none of the moms. Where are the moms? Did they quit? How did their kids get there?

The producers are all on air now, freaking out. They are looking for the moms, pushing the kids off air (because apparently the kids can’t be “on air without their moms”), and frantically making phone calls. Did we know that the kids couldn’t be on air without their moms before this episode? Why choose now, after all of the moms and Abby’s antics, to freak out? How did the kids even get there?

All the kids, except for Brynn are shuffled off air, fueling Ashlee’s fire that she is not really a part of this team. Duh. Abby shows up and quickly realizes that all the moms are having some sort of “sick out” to spite her. To her credit, she ignores it, gives Brynn a solo, and has her begin a private lesson with Gianna, whereby making this a total non event. Go Abby! Both Abby and Gianna are relieved to not have the moms around — so are we!

However, this serenity doesn’t last long and the moms show up, thinking they are cool, but looking like complete idiots in pajamas and full make-up trying to prove some sort point to Abby.

Their pajama plan completely backfires when they realize that the time they wasted getting gussied in pajamas, their kids were sitting in a dressing room off camera, while Brynn was getting extra private rehearsal time AND, more importantly, extra air time. Abby, who they were trying to teach some sort of passive aggressive lesson to, completely ignores them and now they have to sit the rest of the time in unflattering pajamas. Great job, ladies!

Not getting the attention they want, they of course lash out at Ashlee, who they blatantly left out.

“Why didn’t you talk to the producers?”

“How could you let our kids sit there?”

“A true dance mom would never do that!”

Again, I’m confused. How is this Ashlee’s fault? You purposely leave her out, making her angry and then you expect her to take care of your kids after you verbally abuse her kid every week? Come on, isn’t that a bit ridiculous? When my 8-year-old twins are calling you out on acting childish, you need to check yourselves. Finally, Abby comes out and shuts them down. My kids actually cheered.

Moving on to the pyramid, Maddie is back on top and Abby announces there are three solos: Maddie, Brynn, and Kendall. They will be doing themed dances representing women who were associated with infamous crimes in Los Angeles — Black Dahlia (Brynn), Natalia Wood (Kendall), and Lizzie Borden (Maddie — which also happens to be a show on Lifetime). Not really appropriate content for all the little girls who watch this show — mine included, once again confusing me … yikes!

Jill is happy/unhappy/all over the place that Kendall got a solo — leading me to believe that Jill is on the verge of a break because I can no longer see what she actually wants.

These solos did accomplish one thing for the viewers — it solidifies how amazing Maddie is.

Brynn is an excellent dancer, but whether she is a beautiful swan or a murder victim, she always has the same face on. By the end my girls and I are trying to stay awake.

Kendall is a solid dancer, but is clearly unhappy and it shows on stage.

Then there’s Maddie. From the minute she steps on stage she blows you away. Not only is she a magnificent dancer, but she plays the role so well on stage, my daughters were too afraid to watch her perform. It’s not a matter of who “the next Maddie is” — the bottom line is, there is no “next Maddie”, it’s just Maddie. Period. After an episode of confusion, that’s the one thing that was crystal clear.

Dance Moms
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