Here's what's new and returning the week of March 7

By Shirley Li
Updated March 07, 2016 at 10:58 PM EST
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Steve Dietl/WGN; Vivian Zink/NBC; Eric McCandless/ABC
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Welcome to This Week in TV, a weekly feature in which we spotlight the series debuting or returning to air. Set your DVRs and alarms: below are the highlights for the next seven days.

Monday, March 7

SERIES PREMIERE

Damien (A&E, 10 p.m.)

The latest show to make the devil the sympathetic lead imagines him as a war photographer with amnesia. Sounds like hell.

SEASON PREMIERES

Bates Motel (A&E, 9 p.m.)

Norma tries to get Norman to a mental institution. Hey, sounds like there will be a vacancy at the motel! Finally!

RuPaul’s Drag Race (Logo, 9 p.m.)

It’s the series’ 100th episode! That’s a lot of catwalks.

Tuesday, March 8

SERIES PREMIERE

Of Kings and Prophets (ABC, 10 p.m.)

Ah yes, I believe this show is about kings. And prophets. Our review here.

Separation Anxiety (TBS, 10 p.m.)

A game show on relationships that has “a unique twist that isn’t revealed to contestants until after they’ve played the game.” So … either everyone gets married or breaks up?!

MIDSEASON PREMIERE

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC, 9 p.m.)

Sorry, folks, still no Robert Downey Jr. cameo.

SEASON PREMIERE

Chrisley Knows Best (USA, 10 p.m.)

I’m guessing “Chrisley” isn’t a fan of the characters on You’re the Worst. (Rimshot, please!)

Wednesday, March 9

SERIES PREMIERE

The Internet Ruined My Life (Syfy, 10 p.m.)

Hey, no one told me Syfy did a docuseries on my life! Wow!

… Oh, wait.

Underground (WGN America, 10 p.m.)

This historical drama tells the story of the slaves who built the Underground Railroad. I … can’t make a joke about this one.

SEASON PREMIERE

Wahlburgers (A&E, 9 p.m.)

But I can joke about Wahlburgers! And the joke is … drumroll, please …:

More like WAIL-burgers, am I right?

Okay, I tried.

Thursday, March 10

DOCUSERIES PREMIERE

60 Days In (A&E, 9 p.m.)

Seven innocent people voluntarily go behind bars to expose the issues of incarceration. Voluntarily.

Friday, March 11

SERIES PREMIERE

Flaked (Netflix)

Will Arnett is a man named Chip who’s struggling to live his life. What is this, Baskets?!

SEASON PREMIERE

Bosch (Amazon)

Titus Welliver returns as the eponymous law enforcement officer working disturbing cases while trying to keep his ex-wife and teen daughter safe. What is this, 24?!

Saturday, March 12

SERIES PREMIERES

Party Over Here (Fox, 11 p.m.)

Late-night sketch comedy series from The Lonely Island. Sadly, it doesn’t take place on a boat.

AWARDS

The 2016 Kids’ Choice Awards (Nickelodeon, 8 p.m.)

Kids take multiple-choice standardized tests all night! What do you mean, that’s not what they do?

Sunday, March 13

SERIES PREMIERE

Little Big Shots (NBC, 8 p.m.)

Steve Harvey hosts this. That’s all you need to know.

MINISERIES PREMIERE

And Then There Were None (Lifetime, 8 p.m.)

The deeply disturbing Agatha Christie novel about a group of people taken to an island where they’re murdered one by one comes to the small-screen on the deeply disturbing network, Lifetime!

SEASON PREMIERE

The Carmichael Show (NBC, 9 p.m.)

Jerrod Carmichael’s back — and more biting than ever. Season 2 topics include infidelity and Bill Cosby. Oof.

Naked & Afraid (Discovery, 10 p.m.)

After all, Clothed & Brave really wouldn’t have sold as a series.

Episode Recaps

Underground

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