By Lana, Maya & Zoe Soskin
March 02, 2016 at 10:31 PM EST
  • TV Show

Episode Gasp!

Here we are, episode 9 and by now I should be used to it all, but for some reason, in this episode, all my daughters and I did was GASP!

Here’s how it started:

Abby’s hair is wild and she is yelling at someone — LOUDLY. We soon realize it’s her office manager. Abby starts screaming at the show’s producers to get out of her face! Office manager storms out/Abby fires her. 


Abby walks out like nothing happened, says the office manger walked out. Oh well. It’s time for the pyramid! Maddie is on the bottom of the pyramid!?


Abby announces that they will be dancing to Bob Fosse songs — a “mature dance” in heels! The solos are Kendall and Kalani and … Maddie and Brynn!


The next day, Ashlee begins working for Abby, for free! But in exchange for what she hopes will be a spot on the team for Brynn. We then cut to Abby, who still hasn’t taken her rollers out of her hair!


As soon as Melissa starts talking about how Ashlee is sucking up to Maddie, my daughter Maya tells her to “shut up!”

Me (alone): GASP!

Kalani’s back is injured and she really can’t dance, so she drops out at the last minute and Nia has to fill in, by learning the dance in a day!  She is very stressed. Her mother, Holly, gives her a “pep talk” that is terrible and in the end, makes Nia even more stressed!


Abby shows up at the competition in rollers (again) with a full-blown horrible rash on her face!


Ashlee goes back to help Abby and winds up fixing her hair. When she returns, the moms are annoyed because they feel that she is kissing up to Abby to benefit Brynn … and it’s working! (That and the fact that Brynn is good.) Jill and Ashlee get into a huge fight and Ashlee says eff-you to Jill!


My 8-year-old daughter Maya says, “It’s unbelievable how much they curse on Dance Moms.”


Nia and Kendall’s dance was awful. Nia cries. In the middle of Maddie and Brynn’s solo, their music stops and they kept dancing beautifully. They win first and Nia and Kendall come in second! Jill freaks out on Abby!


The girls perform their group dance and they look like mini Barbra Streisands! Their dance is uncomfortably, way too sexy for their age and hard to watch.   


They win the group dance anyway.


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