Harry Potter fans got good news this week when it was announced that the upcoming play Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will be published in book form this July. Even fans who can’t afford a ticket to a London theater performance can still catch up with their favorite characters in this story set 19 years after the original series. Stephen Colbert, however, is not very enthused about Cursed Child, which apparently follows an adult Harry juggling his Ministry of Magic job with raising his kids.
“That really sounds depressing,” Colbert said in his opening monologue Thursday night. “I love that we’re gonna get something else about that whole world but let’s admit that Harry Potter’s life peaked when he was 17. Captain of the Quidditch team, big Chosen One on campus, now he’s just some guy. Who are his enemies even gonna be? Phil from accounting? A slowing metabolism? A vague, restless feeling when he looks at travel posters?”
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To prove his point, Colbert speculated on how boring other beloved children’s stories would be when transplanted to adulthood.
“I can’t take reading about a grown-up Holden Caulfield assistant-managing a Costco,” Colbert said. “I don’t want to read about the Narnia kids’ unfulfilling marriages!”
Watch the clip below.