By Dylan Kickham
Updated February 09, 2016 at 08:26 PM EST
Credit: CBS

Samantha Bee has proclaimed herself the “unholy queen of late night,” and she is not about to share her throne with the likes of Stephen Colbert.

In a digital exclusive for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Bee announces her plan to “sabotage the living s— out of” her new late-night rival, now that her own show, Full Frontal With Samantha Bee, has debuted. In the clip, Bee declares that “the late-night wars are on, sweetheart” and enacts her three-pronged attack strategy.

“First, I’ll hack into the Late Show cyber computer chip server,” Bee says, harnessing the power of technology to make the words “Stephen sux!” appear on his set in pink graffiti.

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“Second, I shall destroy the theater itself through a campaign of vandalism,” she says as she maliciously knocks over a paper cup of water.

“And finally, perhaps most deviously of all, I’ve stolen the one thing that keeps the Late Show running smoothly: Joe Saylor’s tamborine,” Bee seethes, holding the Stay Human percussionist’s instrument as he’s left to despondently poke at a milk jug.

Of course, the skit is all in good fun as Bee feigns horror in realizing she’s helping to promote the show of her fellow Daily Show alum.