By Aili Nahas and Linday Kimble
February 03, 2016 at 07:35 PM EST
Gabriel Olsen/FilmMagic; Vinnie Zuffante/Archive Photos/Getty Images

This article originally appeared on PEOPLE.com

It’s been 21 years since Nicole Brown Simpson’s murder, but Kris Jenner still can’t shake her sense of guilt.

Despite scenes in The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story — Ryan Murphy’s retelling of Simpson’s murder trial — that show the fictionalized version of Jenner (Selma Blair) talking to mutual friend Faye Resnick (Connie Britton) about their shared knowledge of the abuse, Jenner tells PEOPLE she had no knowledge of her close friend’s suffering at the time.

Jenner says that, even now all these years later, her “heart breaks” when she thinks about the alleged physical torment at the hands of ex-husband O.J. Simpson that Nicole reported to authorities.

“I saw all the pictures and the police reports, and I heard the tapes of her calling 911, and that was stuff I didn’t know anything about [at the time],” Jenner says. “It’s wild that she kept that from us. So I feel bad. I beat myself up because I feel like I wasn’t paying attention. Like, How did I miss this?

Jenner continues, “They say it’s very typical in an abusive relationship that the woman doesn’t really speak out about how she’s being treated. And that I will always feel sick about it — that she didn’t really or couldn’t tell any of us what was going on.”

“I look back on some of that stuff and I go, ‘Oh, now I get it,’ ” she continues. “Some things come to my memory and then I realize that’s what was going on there.”

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