It's a train. Going through Alaska. For five hours.
The wheels on the train will go round and round, round and round, round and round. For around five hours.
Destination America, which is a network that you may be surprised to learn that you get, announced on Wednesday that it plans to air “the slooooowest holiday special ever” on Thanksgiving, one that makes tryptophan seem like an upper. The phrase “Now Bored-ing!” is also used in the press release, which is a turn of phrase that has run off the rails in all the right ways.
Railroad Alaska: Real Time Train Ride chronicles the quotidian journey of a train as it serenely cruises from Talkeetna to Healy along a 500-mile stretch of Last Frontier wilderness, passing through Denali National Park and other peaceful parts of our 49th state. Save for the occasional excitement of a bridge or tunnel or passenger drop-off or pictureseque canyon, you will see nothing but snowscape.
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Think yule log. But heavier. And more in-motion.
The special — which promotes the network’s slightly more exciting Railroad Alaska series — slowly cranks up to speed on Nov. 26. at 9 a.m. ET and then comes to a complete stop at 2 p.m. It will be followed by something even more dull, if that’s possible: A repeat of this special.
Can’t wait until T-Day to get your snooze on? Check out this exclusive clip from Railroad Alaska: Real Time Train Ride, which contains five minutes of nothing but nothingness.