By Amanda Michelle Steiner
November 10, 2015 at 01:32 PM EST
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Perhaps given his time spent portraying bacon aficionado Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation, Nick Offerman was more than ready to take on the challenge of putting on some weight for his role as Ignatius J. Reilly in the play A Confederacy of Dunces

Appearing on The Tonight Show on Monday, Offerman took host Jimmy Fallon on a tour through the animal fats you, too, could eat if you wanted to pack on the pounds. But don’t worry, there was salad for the more health-conscious. … Of course, the “salad” was a bowl of Wisconsin cheese curds, but that might actually be the legitimately healthier option given the turducken-fed pork that was also on display. 

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Before Offerman’s Confederacy diet ushers you into an early grave, be sure to go to town on a kielbasa sausage, Lady and the Tramp-style. See Offerman and Fallon show you how it’s done, below. 

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