By Devan Coggan
Updated November 05, 2015 at 08:29 PM EST

Long before Aaron Sorkin dramatized Steve Jobs’ life in this fall’s biopic about the Apple co-founder, Jobs asked Sorkin if he would want to work with Pixar back in the ‘90s.

“The last time I spoke to him, he asked me to write a Pixar movie,” Sorkin said in 2012. “I told him that I loved Pixar … but that I didn’t think that I would be able to make an inanimate object talk. He said, ‘Once you make them talk, they won’t be inanimate anymore.’”

Sorkin may never have turned in an actual script, but in a new interview with Digital Spy, the Steve Jobs screenwriter revealed what his Pixar movie would have looked like — talking staplers and all.

“You cannot imagine how limited my imagination is,” Sorkin said. “It’s really remarkable that I’m able to earn a living in a business where your imagination is everything.” So, his script would naturally focus on every writer’s biggest scourge: writer’s block.

“It all stems from this old joke about a screenwriter who is experiencing terrible writers’ block, and it’s been going on for a year and he hasn’t been able to write anything,” he explained. “One day he comes down to his kitchen and right there on the table is a screenplay, and it’s got his name on it. He reads the screenplay, and it’s fantastic, and he takes it to the studio, and they really like it, and straight away say, ‘We’re going to make this movie! Here’s your check!’”

As Sorkin explained, the same thing happens again — after which, the writer wises up and sneaks down to his kitchen in the middle of the night. There, a leprechaun is writing a script.

“The writer says, ‘I don’t know how to thank you! You’ve saved my life! You’ve revived my career! I’m celebrated! I can pay my mortgage! I’m so happy — is there anything I can do to repay you?’” Sorkin said. “And the leprechaun says, ‘Well, it would be great if you could share screenwriting credit with me…’ So the writer says, ‘Go f— yourself.’”

Sorkin’s script would replace the leprechaun with office supplies (think staplers and laptops). “But I don’t have a second or a third act,” Sorkin added. “I hear they’re important in movies.”

Read the full interview at Digital Spy.