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While most authors provide neat, tight biographies in the backs of their books, others need no introduction, as their magnificent reputations precede them. These authors can afford to have a little fun with their “About the Author” box, conjuring alternate universes and spinning lies that are only okay in print because we know they’re not true (… or do we?).

Behold, our favorite author bios of the day:

Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me? (out Sept. 15)

Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

“Mindy Kaling lives in rural New Hampshire and does not own a TV.”

Lemony Snicket, “Why Is This Night Different From All Other Nights?” (All The Wrong Questions #4) (out Sept. 29)


“Lemony Snicket has ridden the rails, gotten off track, and lost his train of thought. His investigative research has been collected and published in books, including those in A Series of Unfortunate Events and All the Wrong Questions.”

Eric Carle, The Nonsense Show (out Oct. 13)


“Eric Carle invented writing, the airplane, and the internet. He was also the first person to reach the North Pole. He has flown to Mars and back in one day, and was enthusiastically greeted by the Martians. “Very strange beings,” he reported on his return. He has written one thousand highly regarded books; a team of experts is presently attempting to grasp their meaning. “It might take a century,” said the chief expert. Carle is also a great teller of stories — but not all of them are true, for instance those in this book.”