• Movie

In Amy Schumer’s breakout hit Trainwreck, her character discusses with Vanessa Bayer’s character which version of Johnny Depp they’d want to land in bed. (In the film, Schumer prefers the Edward Scissorhands version of Johnny Depp because he’d feel so bad about cutting her up, he’d have to be nice to her.)

So, fittingly, an interviewer for Zoomin.TV asked Schumer, Bayer, Bill Hader, and the film’s director, Judd Apatow, which version of Johnny Depp they would sleep with, marry, and kill.

Schumer and Bayer agree that Depp as Pirates of the Carribean’s Jack Sparrow wouldn’t be an ideal partner because he travels too much, but Bill Hader and Trainwreck director Judd Apatow go with Depp in Nick of Time because, “We’re older guys and we don’t last long,” Hader jokes. Other Depps up for consideration include his roles in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Cry-Baby and Benny & Joon.

Check it out above, if only to find out which part Schumer’s body is now referred to as her “chocolate fountain.”

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2015 movie
  • Movie
  • R
  • 124 minutes
  • Judd Apatow