How to talk to your parents about Amy Schumer
They’re going to ask soon enough – especially now that the comedian is a bona fide movie star thanks to Trainwreck‘s $30.2 million opening weekend. Here are some key talking points to help you navigate this tricky subject.
Amy Schumer was adorable on CBS Sunday Morning. Should your father and I see Trainwreck?
A: Things aren’t always like they seem on TV. There’s a time in everyone’s life when they’re ready for Amy Schumer, and I don’t think now is yours. Have you considered Minions? You loved Alison Janney’s doing the Jackal on The West Wing.
But everyone at the salon is talking about how great Trainwreck is.
Remember when everyone at the salon was talking about how great Philomena was? And then you saw it and spiraled into a rage storm about the nuns. It’s a fast crowd down at the salon.
Is this like when you made us watch The 100 Foot Journey instead of Obvious Child? I heard you telling your friends it was in your top five favorite movies of the year.
Wait, you didn’t see Obvious Child, did you? It’s the same and it’s different. Amy taps into the zeitgeist, but I’m not sure you’d get what she’s trying to say.
We’re not sheltered idiots. We text, we have Facebooks! We’ve seen you post more links to Amy’s sketches on Facebook than you have photos of your nephews.
What is the question?!? I think there’s a cute Diane Keaton/Morgan Freeman movie On Demand right now? About real estate? You wouldn’t have to leave the house.
We hear LeBron James and Chrissy Evert are in it!
Oh, God, that’s not what this movie is about! That’s not the reason to see this movie!
It’s enough for your father.
Listen, you guys are 72 years old, and I can’t tell you how to live your lives. But if you think you’re ready for Trainwreck based on what you hear from your friends at the salon or because she looks cool on TV, let me answer a few questions before you run crying and screaming from the theater to me:
- I’m very happy being single
- I’ve totally moved past the binge-drinking phase of my life
- Working at a magazine is nothing like that
- Yes, LeBron was great
- And no, you may not see Sleeping With Other People