David Letterman reads Donald Trump Top Ten list at surprise appearance
David Letterman made a surprise appearance at Martin Short and Steve Martin’s A Very Stupid Conversation show in San Antonio, Texas, on Friday night, where he delivered a brand new Top Ten list skewering presidential hopeful Donald Trump.
The cameo was Letterman’s first onstage appearance since retiring from the Late Show in May, and he expressed regret that his exit came before Trump declared his candidacy.
“I retired and… I had no regrets. None. I was happy. I’ll make actual friends. I was complacent, I was satisfied, I was content. And then a couple of days ago, Donald Trump said he was running for president,” a bearded Letterman told the crowd at the Majestic Theatre. “I have made the biggest mistake of my life, ladies and gentlemen.”
He then reached into the pocket of his suit and pulled out an envelope. “Every suit I own comes with a Top Ten list,” he quipped, before launching into “Top Ten Interesting Facts About Donald Trump.”
The list mocked everything from Trump’s hair (“That thing on his head was the gopher in Caddyshack”) to his controversial comments on immigration (“Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans that he’s starring in a movie called No Amigos,’” referencing Short and Martin’s film Three Amigos).
Letterman also joked that he met Martin and Short at a “Scientology mixer” — and posed for a selfie with them, which you can see below.