E.L. James’ Grey, a retelling of Fifty Shades of Grey from Christian’s perspective, has finally hit shelves. Featuring every sex scene from the original — and really nothing else — it highlights the Red Room of Pain, kegel balls and, yes, that tampon scene.

We get to see all the dirty stuff from Christian’s point of view and — shocker! — it’s not that surprising. To speed up your read, EW‘s Tina Jordan and Jessica Goodman have a handy guide of where to find all the X-rated parts. (Note that the pages correspond to the hard copy of Grey.) Enjoy…

Ana loses her virginity: “Should I be gentle and prolong the agony, or do I go for it?” (p. 104)

Approximately a minute later, Ana has sex for a second time: “Hmmmm…I could get used to this.” (p. 111)

Ana performs her first blow job: “‘Don’t you have a gag reflex?’ I marvel at her as I catch my breath.” (p. 125-6)

Christian ties Ana up for the first time: “If you spill the wine, I won’t let you come!” (p. 166)

Ana’s second blow job…and then more sex: So bold, ma’am.” (p. 248)

Ana’s first spanking: “Her ass is pinking up nicely. It looks glorious.” (p. 258)

Ana’s first time in the Red Room: “With one flick, the leather tongue bites her clitoris and she shouts out in a gargled cry, ‘Oh, please!'” (p. 314)

Christian shackles her to the bedpost: “’Don’t let go. If you do, I’ll spank you.’” (p. 318)

Sex in the boathouse:Yessss. I come quickly, losing all reason as I explode inside her. I still. Filling her. Owning her. Reminding her that she’s mine.” (p. 336)

Ana’s first experience with kegel balls: “Gently, I inside the first ball into her, then the second, leaving the tag outside, draped against her clitoris. I kiss her bare ass and slide her panties back into place.” (p. 349)

Sex on Christian’s desk: “How the hell can she just waltz into my study and seduce me? (p. 358)

That tampon scene: “‘When did you start your period, Anastasia?'” (p. 419)

Hotel bathroom sex: “‘I’m going to have you now,’ I declare, and I lift her so that my erection is poised beneath her. ‘Ready?'” (p. 426)

More Bathroom sex, this time at Christian’s place: “My tongue torments her, and she moans and tips her head back against the wall.” (p. 477)

Even more bathroom sex: “Put your hands on the wall, Anastasia. I’m going to take you now,’ I whisper, and with a startled glance at me, she splays her hands on the tiles.” (p. 480)

Pleasure by rabbit fur glove, followed by shackles and a blindfold: “She lays on the bed, helpless, her skin pretty in pink, and she’s panting, too.” (p. 486)

Christian whips Ana with a belt: “Her anger crashes over me like a tidal wave.” (p. 504)