Credit: Chuck Zlotnick

“‘I’m fifty shades of f–ked up,’ Ana.” That’s perhaps the best-known quote from E.L. James Fifty Shades of Grey. She spends pages and pages (and two more novels) describing Anastasia Steele’s inner goddess, but in her most recent book, Grey, a retelling of Fifty Shades from Christian’s point of view, Ana’s inner goddess is no where to be found.

Instead we’re left with lines like, “Her sharp intake of breath is music to my dick.” EW combed through Grey, which hit shelves on Thursday, to find the most memorable, WTF lines. (Note that all pages correspond to the book’s hard copy.)

“‘Oh, I exercise control in all things, Miss Steele.’ And I’d like to exercise it over you, right here, right now.” (p. 9)

Oh, this is going to be fun. You’d be amazed what I can do with a few cable ties, baby.” (p. 20)

“’Which medieval chronicle did you escape from? You sound like a courtly knight.’” (p. 66)

“Vanilla sex? Can I do this?” (p. 102)

“It’s a long time since I’ve seen pubic hair up close and personal like this. I tug it gently. ‘Perhaps we’ll keep this.’ Though it’s no good for wax play.” (p. 129)

“Genital clamps—you have got to be kidding me.” (p. 188)

“‘Why don’t you like to be touched?'” / “‘Because I’m fifty shades of f–ked up, Anastasia.'” (p. 253)

“She smells of Ana and apples and sex.” (p. 260)

“’How would you like your eggs?’” / “‘Thoroughly whisked and beaten,’ I reply.” (p. 118)

“I drag my hand through my hair, and in as even a tone as I can manage I ask, ‘Are you hungry?’/ ‘Not for food,’ she teases. / Whoa. She might as well be addressing my groin.” (p. 304)

Ask me for your panties, baby.” (p. 326)

“I’m confused. I wanted to spank her. But she’s said no.” (p. 335)

“Her sharp intake of breath is music to my dick.” (p. 348)

“Oh, this ass is mine, so mine. And it’s going to get warmer.” (p. 349)

“‘The woman who brought me into this world was a crack whore, Anastasia. Go to sleep.”‘ (p. 353)

“Could I? Could I have a vanilla relationship with Anastasia?” (p. 544)